These Jacks Are Off Target

Sorry, Jack Links, but those ads with creatures coming out of people's stomachs and popping out of their shirts, in public, to depict the degree of their hunger are just not cutting it. "Alien" revisited. Did someone really got paid to produce those, in fact, just to think them up? Amazing. I am soooo in the wrong profession. I have definitely thought up better commercials that never got produced. For instance, the one I created for Victoria's Secret. Uh, forget that...

Anyway, hey, Jerk Link, bring back Sasquatch, please.

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Watching a great golfer go south is disheartening. His game is gone, his injuries, post-surgical and mental, are prevalent and he clearly has no confidence, regardless of physical condition.

But enough about my game. Did you see Tiger withdraw from the Bridgestone Invitational?

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Speaking of golf, Sergio Garcia offered to buy some female spectator a new diamond after his tee shot strayed, hit her in the hand and knocked the rock from its setting.

There's match.com. And then there's sergio dot con.

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So, my stylist told me today that my hair looks great. Then she colored it and cut it all off. Huh?