What Are They Thinking About?

The Schloss-Blog is wondering what some people are thinking about.

For instance, yahoo sports is asking ... is Jeopardy a sport?

Is it? There's a tournament of champions. You have to be smarter than, oh, Bill Belichick.

And it's now a competitive TV event - Sports Jeopardy - hosted by famed sportscaster Dan Patrick.

On Crackle.

WTF is Crackle?

Never mind, Look, Jeopardy is not a sport.

Or is it?

(Stick around to the end for the best rock 'n' roll Jeopardy songs of the 20th century, IMHO. Or are they?)

***

In case you're wondering, and you're probably not, which is why we wonder for you, Tom Brady is so old (44) that he is older than all the other coaches who were still left in the NFC playoffs when this weekend began.

Older than Sean McVay of the Rams (35), who he faced this weekend; older than Matt LeFleur of the Packers (42), who can't seem to find a way to beat Brady when it counts; and older than Kyle Shanahan of the 49ers (42), who, IMHO, has the best chance to beat him.

There are players left who weren't born yet when Brady made his first playoff appearance.

The publication Athletic Pulse called Brady being older than all the other coaches, "Absurd." 

I call it genius.

***

Before you accuse Nick Saban of being a heartless coach who puts winning ahead of everything, which he does, consider this:

He joined NBA Hall-of-Famer Jerry West and several other natives of West Virginia - former NFL star Darryl Talley and former commissioner of the NFL Paul Tagliabue - in signing a letter to West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin to get off his high horse and vote to support the voting rights legislation that is pending in the Senate.

Saban is a West Virginia native. Manchin is an independently wealthy West Virginian who seems to be out of touch with his state's residents, the majority of whom favor passage of the voting rights bills pending in the Senate, including as many as 70 percent of Republicans, and in Arizona too, where Kyrsten Sinema is the other Democratic senator refusing to budge on changing the rules to pass the bills. Manchin is backed, however, by big-business campaign donors who like things the way they are. So is Sinema, by a list of Wall Street rock stars.

Saban, meanwhile, does have a heart. He wants what's best for America, not just what's best for his Alabama football team.

In that case, Roll Tide.

***

My niece, Jennifer, in Denton, Texas, has been after me to mention her name in this column for years now and give her a shout-out on my radio show.

One down, Jennifer. One to go.

***

I keep seeing these posts on Facebook that ask for opinions on sometimes common and sometimes uncommon things.

For instance, and I'm guilty of commenting on a few, I've seen: what goes with peanut butter (I hate peanut butter); what are the 10 best rock 'n' roll songs for or about motorcycle riders in the '80s (there are 10?); what line can you recite from a movie that doesn't give away the movie title (I said, "...ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?); name a state without a 'e' in it (I always say 'Confusion'); and what's your name based on the color of your eyes and the last thing you ate (I'm Blue Fry). These posts, I'm told by people who supposedly know, are by marketers looking to accumulate names of people who respond to these kinds of things - not that they're not smart enough not to (you got that, right?) - but to see who will respond to more sophisticated marketing prompts. 

And it works, usually.

But my fav post of that nature is this one: what are the five best rock 'n' roll songs of the previous millennium (I have mine - what do you have?)

I have, in no particular order: One (U2); Hey Jude (Beatles); Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin); Layla (Derek and the Dominos); and God Only Knows (Beach Boys), which Paul McCartney says is the best ever.

Well, what do you have?

***

Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

More Sunday night on my Radio Free Phoenix rock 'n' roll show.

Get vaccinated and boostered, or boosternated, or whatever. Just do it. Protect those around you and those you love and maybe, just maybe, we'll have life back to close to normal someday.

Why..?

The Schloss-Blog is wondering...

...why?

Like, why haven't we passed voting rights legislation yet? 

Or, why can I go to my local Volkswagen dealer and negotiate the price of my new Tiguan (cool car) but I can't go to my local Safeway and negotiate and the price of my groceries?

Are you kidding? Have you seen the price increases due to COVID-driven inflation?

And OK, wiseacres, I don't want to hear "fair market" value arguments.

Why is my Social Security check going up 5.9% this year, but after all the deductions, I barely see the increase on my deposit when it comes in?

Why is Buffalo the best NFL team in New York? The Bills, really?

Why don't Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin swap states they represent for a month and let's see if either one or both change their minds on how to vote on voting rights and BBB?

Better yet, why not have them swap states with Texas's senators for a month and see how it impacts their votes?

Why, as some experts say, is everyone going to get the coronavirus, especially thanks to the omicron variant?

Why did Buffalo and New England play for the third time this year in the first round of the playoffs? I want to see them against someone they haven't played yet and then against each other later if they earn it. Same for Cardinals-Rams. I'm having trouble getting excited about those first-round games. Already seen 'em twice.

Why are baseball players locked out right now?

Why can't we add a video pinball machine to our monthly Zoom calls with my fraternity brothers like we used to have in the lounge area of our dorm?

Because the meetings, like the pinball machine back in the day, would go until 2 in the morning.

Why am I on medication now for ... shit ... everything?

Why is all my favorite music now on some app I've never downloaded, let alone heard of?

Why do I have to stream all my favorite shows ... on my computer screen? Really?

Why is the guy "stripping" on his Breathe Rite Strip as he boards a plane in a Breathe Rite strip ad not wearing a federally mandated mask?

Who owns Breathe Rite anyway, the My Pillow guy?

Why am I hesitant to buy tickets to go see the Eagles on their ongoing Hotel California tour? Will it be safe to attend?

In March.

In Chicago.

Why haven't the Yankees been in the World Series since ... someone help me out here, please? The freakin' Mets, Rays and Cubs have been in since before the Yankees' last appearance.

Why is Brady probably favored to win another Super Bowl, other than because he's not Dak Prescott? Or Aaron Rodgers.

Why is Novak Djokovic as big a jerk as ... yeah, Aaron Rodgers?

Why are the birds angry?

Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

More Sunday night on my Radio Free Phoenix rock 'n' roll show.

If You're Reading This...

The Schloss-Blog is thinking that if you're reading this...

...you just might be sitting in an airport lounge or gate waiting to be rebooked after your flight was one of the 27,000-plus that has been canceled since Christmas Eve.

That's 27 thousand.

...if you're reading this, did you know that dogs are being trained to sniff out ... COVID? No, really. Will that lessen the severity of COVID if you're infected or make it last not as long as it would've otherwise? Chew on that, will ya'? Get it? Chew on that... NVM...

...if you're reading this, you know that coronavirus was trending as the most-searched term on Google last year. But did you know that No. 2 was ... are you ready(?)... Australia versus India in the Men's World Cup cricket matches. Yeah, cricket.

...if you're reading this, you know that Becky Hamann is one of the best basketball coaches in the world.

Yeah, a girl

...if you're reading this, you know that 199,000 new jobs created last month does not jive with the 3.9% unemployment rate, which marked the largest annual decline in that stat, like, ever...

So, does that mean "new jobs" does not include the thousands upon thousands of people who quit jobs (the record-setting Great Resignation), as people who just quit one job to take a higher-paying one do not show up in the "new job-created" category. Would my cousin the economist please chime in here?

...if you're reading this, you know that Republicans in Congress paid no homage whatsoever to what we lost as a result of the insurrection last year. As far they're concerned, if didn't happen. Tucker Carlson told them so.

...if you're reading this, hopefully, you're not awaiting elective surgery. You know, like, torn knee ligaments, torn rotator cuff or hip replacement.

Because you've likely been bumped by the unvaccinated #COVIDiot who has your ICU bed.

...if you're reading this, Antonio Brown just tweeted something else evil about Tom Brady.

Brady says Antonio needs help. Does he ever!

...if you're reading this, the Cubs suck and the Bulls are good. Hey Chicago, when did that happen?

...if you're reading this, the Eagles just added 12 dates to their Hotel California tour. Yes!!!!!

The band, not the football team.

...if you're reading this, did you know that North Dakota State has three quarterbacks playing in the NFL: Trey Lance, Ethan Stick and Carson Wentz.

Take that, Brigham Young. Purdue. San Diego State.

...if you're reading this, you should know the five states with the highest per-capita rate of cases of COVID right now are: Tennessee; North Dakota; Florida; Mississippi; and Arkansas.

Yeah, Red states. Shocker, right?

...while you're reading this, another 2,300 flights just got canceled.

Like, yours!

***

My friend Ellie says Novak Djokovic traveled to Australia on his MasterCard because they wouldn't accept his VISA.

Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

More Sunday night on my Radio Free Phoenix rock 'n' roll show (that means tune in for your shout-out, @AllisonSheedy and @MeganCaruso).

Would You Believe..

The Schloss-Blog is looking at 2022 and seeing ... well, stuff. Every political candidate on the planet has hit me up for a donation of $20.22. Get it? $20.22? How clever.

It's hard to start 2022 on a positive note when COVID is hitting daily record numbers, when inflation is still impacting everybody's pocketbooks and every football and basketball player whose name I recognize is not playing because they contracted COVID and/or lied about having it in the first place.

Ah, our American role models. Here are some more...

***

Did you know that Ted Cruz is against vaccinations and vaccine mandates?

So how come he's vaccinated? And his kids!

Ted Cruz also doesn't want there to be mask mandates. At work. Or at school.

But he works someplace where masks are mandated and his kids go to a school where the same is mandated.

***

Alex "The Mouth" Jones, who lost a huge defamation suit claiming Sandy Hook was a hoax, is now mad at his shadow president-in-waiting, Donald Trump, for getting vaccinated and prompting people to do the same.

If you think Trump is going to win in 2024, let alone run, just remember, right now, his own party's hardcore are turning on him, and he on them (see McConnell, Mitch and Kemp, Brian).

***

Watched a lot of football this past week. A lot. Have to conclude that defensive coordinators are the most overpaid people in the game. It's at the point where the defensive backs do cartwheels when the other team throws an incompletion or when they accidentally break up a pass. 

That's their job!

***

Matt Gaetz says don't get vaccinated - that the way to survive COVID is to get COVID.

I hope he does.

***

My golf game is getting pretty good. I follow up most pars with two double-bogeys consecutively now instead of three.

***

Speaking of Mitch McConnell, did you know on Jan. 6, on the Senate floor, he said, “The voters, the courts, and the states have all spoken.”

Really, he said that.

***

If you are accused of sexual assault, and if you are charged with assault, burglary and battery, you can still pull down anywhere between a $9 million signing bonus and a $15 million salary.

Just ask Antonio Brown.

***

The economy is going great. So good, in fact, that in Arizona, the minimum wage is going up to $12.80 per hour. Baristas at Starbucks in some states make more.  Yet, people are flocking to Arizona for economic opportunity.

If your definition of economic opportunity is $12.80 at hour, welcome to the desert.

***

Cheugy is one of the most mispronounced words of 2021. So is the corporate name Shein.

Can't wait to see what the words are for 2022.

I'm thinking filibuster. Or insurrection.

Or build back better.

***

Unofficially, the national debt, is more than $29 trillion.

That's $29,000,000,000,000.

If that were you or me, and we managed our household budgets with the kind of deficits that Congress and the administration manage our national budget, we'd be homeless.

On the street. Our houses repossessed.

But Congress? They keep spending our money, running up the debt (the interest on it is now more than the nation's GDP) and they go home and live like kings. And queens.

Just so you know, every tax dollar that comes in goes to Social Security and Medicare. Everything else in the budget is borrowed,

Everything.

This is why I keep contending that women should be running the country instead of the gray-haired bastards who could care less about spending someone else's money, protecting someone else's voting privileges or providing for someone else's healthcare needs.

Women already do a great job of managing household budgets, deciding what goods and services we bring into the home and how much we spend on them so that we still have some left over to stream a movie once a week.

And I know just the woman to bounce this off of - Kyrsten Sinema.

I'll bounce this off of Sen. Sinema at her next town hall.

Which would be her first.

***

Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Here's to you, Senator Sinema.

More Sunday night on my Radio Free Phoenix  rock 'n' roll show.