Positively Entertaining

A dear friend suggested that the Schloss-Blog do a post about something positive. I agreed. So I began to scour news sources, friends, family and anything and everything else for positive news.

I mean, my usual sarcasm and cynicism is my way of being positive, or at least my way of sending a message to people to be positive. So the hunt was on.

Let's see, Washington - bitterly fighting over rules of impeachment let alone impeachment itself, a trial for which was rigged, openly, from the start.

That's not positive.

Onward.

Back in Chicago, the city is still reeling from the corruption charges against city councilmen, some prominent. The city's budget is a disaster. So is the State of Illinois'.

My last employer, Columbia College Chicago, is also reeling in enrollment losses. Seems media, arts, and entertainment are not the sexy study areas they once were.  Looks like I got out just in time, almost three years ago, but it hurts to see the place I worked at for 23 years as a tenured faculty member being in such dire straits. I was there for the peak years, in enrollment, in cash flow, in ebullient student body participation and a dedicated faculty and staff core.

Search on.

Ah, sports, always happy, the one thing that unites people around televisions, in living rooms, dens and bars everywhere.

But the Cubs' Kris Bryant is unhappy that he was denied credit for a full year's service when one of those years was two weeks short of being a full season - done deliberately by the Cubs. Now he'll likely be traded. Cubs fans are not happy.

Ah, Eli Manning retired. Sixteen glorious years, 210 consecutive starts, 7th all-time in yardage and TDs and two Super Bowl rings denied to Tom Brady. But he was treated like crap his last two years in New York and didn't want to end his career the same way Johnny Unitas and Joe Namath did, among others, trying and failing to carry water for other teams than the ones which they carried to glory.

For the first time in 20 years, someone named Manning will not be playing in the National Football League.

Something wrong with that, except the next Manning is coming. But not until 2023. Maybe.

Hey, the NBA All-Star Game is in Chicago this year. Except, uh, it's going to be a wake for Kobe Bryant and David Stern, one of the greatest players in league history and the man who built the platform on which Bryant displayed his wares.

I never was into All-Star games, too much pageantry and not enough hustle and intensity. Now, the intensity will be in the grieving, no matter the performances the players put on.

Ah, baseball is starting, Spring training. Pitchers and catchers report. And Chicago is more excited about the White Sox this year than the Cubs. Huh? The Mets, Astros and Red Sox have new managers because of cheating scandals.

In baseball. In baseball? There's no cheating in baseball. That's reserved for Bill Belichick and football.

OK, baseball has some work to do. A lot of work to do.

Which brings me around to hunting for good news, something positive, as my friend suggested.

Kobe's dead. Eli's gone. Baseball is rampant with cheaters.

And the coronavirus is spreading. I covered a high school game the other night where kids in the stands were wearing face masks.

Anyway, I'll keep looking. But with lying and cheating being endorsed and employed everywhere from the halls of Congress to the front offices of professional sports franchises, I have a feeling this might be a tough search.

But stay positive. Heidi Schmelter, Ryan Knight, Sara Faye Harvey, you'll all get birthday shout outs on my radio show this weekend on Radio Free Phoenix, and Lauren, you and your growing wolfpack do too. Love you guys.

Staying positive. But it just keeps getting tougher every day.

Answers Seeking Questions

Seems, these days, we have answers to so many things floating around out there, but no logical questions from which those answers were launched.

For instance, answer: Mitch McConnell's dead body. Question: How is the only way the Senate Impeachment Trial of Donald Trump will have witnesses?

Answer: Cory Gardner, Susan Collins, Tom Tillis, Martha McSally. Question: are they the Republican "squad," the answer to, the equivalent of the Democratic congresswomen as branded by Trump? All four are susceptible to losing their Senate seats if they don't vote to allow witnesses and/or even to convict.

Answer: Jeff Sessions. Question: who is running for the Senate, again, from Alabama, singing the praises of Donald Trump, who insulted him to hell and back when, as AG at the time, he wouldn't recuse himself from the Mueller investigation. So Trump fired him after the investigation was all but complete. Gluttons always come back for punishment, don't they?

Answer: Deval Patrick or Kamala Harris? Question: Who would you like to see at the next attorney general in the Biden administration.

Answer: Kamala Harris or Amy Klobuchar? Question: Who should Joe Biden pick as his running mate? He needs to pick a female. He'll win California anyway, with or without Harris, but Klobuchar could help him recapture the Midwest states Trump barely won in 2016. And she'd make an excellent candidate in 2024 when Biden steps down and she runs against - Trump - yeah, believe it. Mr. Ego wants to keep his income taxes secret. You really think Paul Ryan is going to snag the nomination away from him?

Answer: Nancy Pelosi. Question: name the woman who beats the crap out of Donald Trump every single day.

Answer: Mark Leber, Hollie Deese and Liz Chmurak. Question: Name three people from my past as sports reporter and/or college educator who I was so happy to be back in touch with this week. Did my heart good to exchange with you all.

Answer: Melania Trump-Duncan: Question: Name the now just-resigned California congressman, indicted for embezzlement to whom Melania will be married after she divorces Donald. She's just attracted to bad boys, huh? And he must have that embezzled cash hidden someplace.

Answer: New decorative and storage tables, a hot water heater and new elfa closet shelving. Question: Guess what I've been doing this weekend.

And finally, answer: the articles of impeachment are en route to the Senate. Question: Why is Donald Trump isn't bothered by them, why does he keep talking about them?

Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Tonight on my Radio Free Phoenix show, I had hoped to be celebrating the victory of the Knobs in the battle-of-the-bands charity competition in AZ, but they came in second. My friend Jim is in the band. His brother Donnie rips the strings out of his guitar on the final note of his set. Crazy/

A Few Things to Put a Bow on 2019

Actually, the Schloss-Blog thinks there is no way to put a "bow" on 2019, but here are a few things I've been wondering and I bet you have too. For instance:

• Who will Eli Manning be playing quarterback for next season, if anyone? Jacksonville? Miami? Cincinnati? Denver, like big brother Peyton before him? New England, if Brady retires (or does that job go to Andrew Luck, who mysteriously "heals" and comes of retirement)? My bet is Tampa Bay, because Bruce Arians is fed up with Jameis Winston.
• Hey Evangelical men, still in love with Donald Trump? As much as he'd probably love to do your wife or girlfriend, something tells me that's too much of a "lift" for him.
• When will the College Football Playoff expand to eight teams? It has to. There are five so-called "Power" conferences and only four slots available. It's time the five conference champions got automatic slots and then three wildcards get in (woulda' worked for Nick Saban this year).
• Is Moscow Mitch the most arrogant person you've ever seen in your life? He almost makes Trump look polite.
• There are almost 40 college football bowl games this season and only three of them matter - the two championship semifinals and the title game. In the other 37, most of the big names and All-Americans are not playing to avoid injury before the NFL Combine and NFL Draft. If they're not playing, I'm not watching so some announcer hyping the game can tell me that this backup who is playing is a real talent who is finally getting his chance.
• I see, finally, Trump signed a bill into law that keeps the government open and - significantly - officially creates the "Space Force." Can't wait to see the next iteration of Buck Rogers up there in outer space protecting us from invasion from Russia, China and E.T.
• ...and Ukraine
• ...and Guatemala.
• One thing we have blocked Russia from is the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. Any Russian athletes who were not disqualified for PED use can compete under a neutral flag. Donald Trump swears the Russians are innocent on this, mostly because Putin was very forceful and strong in denying it to him.
• Trump and family spent the holidays at Mar-a-Lago, where he charges Secret Service and other government personnel there the max on bar tabs and food and has exhausted the Secret Service's budget trying to secure such a property so many times. I cannot wait until the courts release his tax returns to the public.
• For all my cynicism, sarcasm and snarkiness, I owe a lot of people a lot of things: Emily Horos, for keeping me close to home as much as possible with my football assignments in Arizona; to Andy Olson, Sharon Kelly and Liz Boyle for helping me be a semblance of a deejay on Radio Free Phoenix; to Reji Labege, for trusting me with her work to edit and fact-check; to Ja'net Oitzinger, for laying the foundation for our lives in Arizona to be as comfortable as they have become; to Larry and Joan, Dave and Janice, Karla and Wayne and Lauren and Fernando for being the best built-in family we could ever ask for in Arizona; and to Bob Frisk, may God be smiling down on you as you deal with the most difficult times and issues in anyone's lifetime.
• Oh yeah, and to the Rolling Stones, for one kick-ass show at Soldier Field.

Have a great 2020, or at least a good one. Mine is gonna' be better than my 2019, I guarantee it. Good night, Mrs. Calabash. And Happy New Year.