Thursday, January 1, 2015

2014 sucked

Trends we hope vanished with the turning of the calendar:
  • If you went to a NASCAR event, you saw a hockey game break out;
  • If you went to a baseball game, it's not over yet;
  • If you went to a football game, you saw a bunch of criminals and wife-beaters in pads and helmets competing on the field, but YOU got patted down and searched at the gate;
  • If you went to an NHL game, you wondered why they all can't be like the Olympic hockey, y'know, without the enforcer goons who can't skate worth a lick;
  • If you went to the Olympics in Sochi, you are still being followed by a stray dog looking for scraps. Her name is Anja, she's a buxom blonde and she wants to be your bride so she can come to Ah--meer--ee--kah;
  • If you went to a college football game, you saw a bunch of guys competing who rarely went to college classes;
  • If you followed the college football playoff polls, you got the biased best of the good ole boys network and a gal whose qualifications are that she is a member at Augusta National;
  • If you watched football on TV, you wondered why the hell they have replay when they fail to use it to correct wrong calls and confirm right calls;
  • If you watched the new SEC Network, you saw Paul Finebaum get beat up by Alabama fans - for being right;
  • If you went to or watched a University of Kentucky basketball game this season, you saw the next NBA champions. No, really, you did;
  • If you watched the University of Texas Longhorn Network, you saw a pretty freakin' bad football team that has its own TV station;
  • If you went to or are a fan of TCU or Baylor football, you're wondering what the heck is going on out there.
And if you're a pro football fan, you are reminded of the words of Bill Polian, the ESPN analyst and former Colts GM, who always reminds you, "If you listen to the fans, you'll sit with the fans."

Phil Emery, Marc Trestman, your tickets are at Will Call. Your seats are right next to Mike Smith's, Rex Rhyan's and John Idzik.

Speaking of will call, now that the Bears have called Ryan Pace to be their GM, who will he call to be their head coach? Will it be his Saints/Eastern Illinois buddy, Sean Payton? Incest is best, after all. And rampant in the NFL.

Oh yeah, that Mueller Report, saying the NFL should've dug further but didn't have the in-elevator video in its possession at the time it issued its original punishment to Ray Rice, is a ton of crap

And as to that College Football Playoff Final game tomorrow night between Ohio State and Oregon, the winner plays TCU for the title the following week.

Sorry Phyllis. The SEC is not only out, it's down. For the count. 

Here's to 2015.