Not the Schlossies

The Schloss-Blog was gonna' give out "Schlossie" Awards for 2019, for best of everythings. Instead, we're gonna' shout-out about things for which we're thankful. God knows there's a lot of 'em.

Thanks to Erin - you've done a lot of things wrong, my little girl, but Jordan is not one of them. But next time we're watching him play basketball and one of your high school crushes is there, a former star athlete, watching his son play, it's OK for you to say hi to him instead of sending me, the sports reporter who saw him play several times making for an easy re-introduction. Yes, he asked if I was your father and if you were there, d'oh, while you were curling up, hiding behind your Starbucks cup.

Thanks to ION television for providing me with hours of binge-watching syndicated episodes of Blue Bloods, Law & Order, Law & Order C.I., Chicago P.D. and NCIS Los Angeles. Oprah's network and USA provide a lot of the same too. No need to be an intellectual, tenured professor anymore now that I'm retired from that gig.

Thank you to Emily Horos at the Arizona Republic and John Radtke at the Daily Herald for keeping me busy on football sidelines and in high school gyms. Beats the hell out of sitting home and binge-watching Blue Bloods, Law & Order, Law & Order C.I. ... no, wait.

Thank you to Bridget Moynahan for being the sexiest A.D.A on any television police show. She still misses Tom. Tom still misses Wes Welker and Rob Gronkowski.

Thanks to Modern Family and Criminal Minds for many years of entertainment. How unfortunate they were all too accurate, even though Criminal Minds got so dark I couldn't watch it anymore. The bad part, the truthfully awful, scary part, is they get their plot ideas from hanging around at courthouses and perusing real criminal cases.

Thanks to Larry & Joan, Dave & Janice, Lauren and Fernando and Karla and Wayne for being our built-in Arizona family before we ever even bought our house there. You guys have been nice to "come home to" every time we come out there and there is no replacing that feeling. Karla, next time we go for drinks, don't walk the wrong way around the hill to our meeting spot so we miss each other.

Thanks to Radio Free Phoenix for giving me a creative outlet for my wackiness and discourse. I don't even have to talk about the music, if I don't want to, right Janie Pecorella? We need a Nathan's night, girlfriend.

Thank you Whistleblower and Democrats for catching Donald Trump in the act. And what an act it has been. The trial is gonna' make The Intern look like junior high school civics class, including the whispered, under-your-breathe, giggled name-calling.

Thank you Danielle and Evan, respectively, for taking very good care of our retirement needs. TIAA and Ameriprise, I salute you.

Thank you, God, for Margot Robbie.

Thank you, God, for Ohio State being in the college football final four. My wife is not depressed this year. Just don't let them win it all or I'm going back to Arizona two weeks before her.

Thank you Rolling Stones for touring ... 50 years and still counting, counting the $5 million per concert, that is, on the U.S. tour this past summer. Now the Doobie Brothers, with Michael McDonald, no less, are doing a 50th, and the Beach Boys did seven years ago.

In the past 10 years, we have caught up with Springsteen and the E Street Band, the Stones, the Eagles (twice), Ray Davies (of the Kinks), Jackson Browne, Ringo Starr and his All-Starr Band and Crosby, Stills and Nash. Nobody picks a guitar like Steven Stills (okay, Clapton, and Joe Walsh), nobody has sold more albums than the Eagles, nobody has more fun than Ringo and his rotation of all-star mates from various Rock 'n' Roll, Hall-of-Fame bands, nobody is a consummate showman like Davies and nobody but nobody electrifies a crowd like Springsteen.

Nobody. However,  Davies has Cougars literally throwing themselves at him, trying to crawl up on the stage, at the end of his show (Girl, I want, to be with you, all of the time, all day, and all of the night...)

Thank you, God. Clarence Clemons, Tom Petty you are missed. Steve Perry, kiss and make up with Journey already.

Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Merry Chrismahanukwanzukah to all, Love, Jordan and Coop (and Grandpa).

Yeah, But How Do You Really Feel About...

So, the Schloss-Blog wants to know this morning, how do you really feel about ...

• Albany State - uh, UAlbany, putting an FCS playoff beatdown on Central Connecticut, 42-14, in the first round?
• Who the heck changed it to UAlbany? It was Albany State when I graduated (I did graduate).
• The announcers in the Arizona-Arizona State Territorial Cup Game getting the teams confused regularly (they did, watch the tape)?
• Did you stay up to watch BYU-San Diego State?
• Why?
• Or Army at Hawaii?
• At least that game was 52-31.
• The Great Danes won an FCS playoff game!
• Bring on Montana State. Bozeman, road trip, who's in?
• Will Trump or one of his sycophants testify at the Judiciary Committee hearings?
• Why?
• They'd be under oath and forced to speak truthfully.
• As if that matters to them.
• When is the next Camps Orinsekwa-Sonnikwa reunion?
• In NYC? East Berne? Anywhere?
• When is the next GDX reunion? We must have an anniversary of something to celebrate, boys.
• In Nashville, not Albany? Cool. Gear up, Wayne.
• When can I go back to Arizona? It's freaking cold here.
• UAlbany, really?
• What's next, UArmy?
• How does a guy just walk down the street in London and start stabbing people? How does this happen? Why is there so much hate out there?
• Can't wait for Trump to arrive in London for the NATO Summit this week and pour gasoline on that stabbing fire there. He'll say something insulting, you can bet on it. Boris Johnson, the British Prime Minister, is already making plans to keep his distance from and not meet individually with Trump. Johnson's popularity and approval ratings are bad enough as it is in England. And the Trump baby-in-diapers balloon is being prepped for his visit.
• Now that Trump and his sycophants have been invited to participate in the Judiciary Committee hearings, call witnesses, even testify themselves, as they've complained so much that they haven't been able to do, they won't.
• Are the Bears back? Do the Cowboys suck? We'll find out Thursday night. They're both lucky they had the Giants on their schedules.
• Final Four for the FBS playoffs are ... not including Alabama. Nyuck, Nyuck!
• Ohio State looks like it could beat the Giants, so if I was Jim Harbaugh, I would think twice before taking the Giants job.
• What a week: Trump and Saban embarrassed within days of each other. Does Saban have a Twitter account?
• UAlbany? Me tossing diploma.
• Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Back on the air tonight on Radio Free Phoenix.