Just Wondering...

The Schloss-Blog has been cruising Facebook. It's weird. People respond to weird questions.

For instance, "What would you say to your 18-year-old self if you only three words to do it?"

Don't know about you, but I'd take a look at my 18-year-old self and say, "WTF?"

I mean, hey, your hair is a f-ckin' mess.

Happy Meals apparently never made you happy as you aged.

And you're a horny son-of-a-bitch for having gone to an all-boys high school.

Got a pretty good arm though. Ever thought about playing quarterback? 

And stop smoking, asshole.

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I'm particularly enthralled by this Facebook post, by some marketer accumulating a database of people who answer questions like this: "What famous movie quote do you recall that doesn't give away the title of the movie?"

WTF cares?

Apparently, millions do.

Me, I went with, "You've Got To Ask Yourself One Question: 'Do I Feel Lucky? ' Well, Do Ya, Punk?'"

I saw a lot of, "Make him an offer he can't refuse," and, "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fish."

And there was plenty of, "You're gonna' need a bigger boat."

What did you go with? And why?

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Here's an odd one that only a FEW MILLION people responded to: If you won a lifetime supply of the last thing you drank, what are you drinking?

Why do I think a lot of people lied on this one because I saw a lot of

• Stoli
• Bud
• Tangueray
• and JD..

...instead of truthful answers like

• Orange juice
• Hot chocolate
• Frappuccino (not so bad)
• Chamomile Tea
• and cough syrup.

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Then there was the picture of the over-sized speakers you'd see at a concert, but the question was, "What would be the first song you'd play on these speakers?"

Who can resist rock 'n' roll? Not this DJ.

I went with, on those speakers, Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida." All 17 minutes, including the kick-ass drum solo.

I saw some "Layla," "Already Gone" and an old fav, "That Smell" (Lynyrd Skynyrd). 

But my favorite actually was, "Rossini's William Tell Overture." On those speakers? Baby, set off the fireworks.

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Then, finally, there's my favorite, "What goes with peanut butter?"

Millions responded to this.

Let me repeat ___ nothing! I hate peanut butter.

It sticks to your teeth and the roof of your mouth.

And it's like so many of my former girlfriends - too crunchy or too ....well, NVM.

My significant other spreads it on pretzels for a snack.

I like mayonnaise on my pretzels, but that's just a personal preference.

Hey, to each his own.

If you like peanut butter, more power to you, but, as rock 'n' roll royalty the Marathons once said:

There's a food goin' around that's a sticky sticky goo
(Peanut, peanut butter)
Oh well it tastes real good, but it's so hard to chew
(Peanut, peanut butter)
All my friends tell me that they dig it the most
(Peanut, peanut butter)
Early in the morning when they spread it on toast
(Peanut, peanut butter)
I like peanut butter, creamy peanut butter
Chunky peanut butter too

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Been watching Olympic hockey? The women are so good. Pinpoint passing. Emphasis on skating. Checking but no hitting allowed like in the men's game. Over-sized, rink, which puts a premium on skating and stick-handling.

The men's game will be similar, but with full-bore checking, of course. Still, it shows why being a hockey player instead of an enforcer or goon is where the game is at, or should be.

Quite frankly, it looked like a bunch of hockey goons who stormed the U.S. Capitol last Jan. 6.

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And this commercial note: In the Chevy Equinox commercial, where the couple driving around is discussing what to have for lunch, the husband suggests, "Sushi."

The wife replies: "I had sushi yesterday."

The husband suggests, "Seafood."

The wife replies, "You know I hate seafood."

Really? Then why, whoever wrote this script, did she have sushi yesterday?

Yes, somebody got paid to write that.

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Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

More Sunday night on my Radio Free Phoenix rock 'n' roll show.