Why I want to cover Madonna. No, J-Lo. No, Gwen Stefani. No, ...

I WANT TO COVER THE SUPER BOWL ... MEDIA DAY, THAT IS

The best part of the Super Bowl is ... Media Day.

All the weirdos come out. Would-be brides. Scantily dressed (would-be) female reporters (with all genuine respect to Christine Brennan, the first, and last, of her breed).

All the weird questions come out. Marry me! Who's gonna' win? (D'oh.) How many points will your team score ("Uh, more than the other team"). Can you pull off a Joe Namath (response: "Who's he?").

The best part of Media Day is ... the media. We get to show how poor we are (we don't prepare and why should we when you can cover the whole game from the headquarters' hotel lobby on your laptop or iPad based on info from press releases).

The reality is that everyday is Media Day. Reporters from all outlets have to file stories everyday. Someone has to ask dumb questions, and we have dumb questions: how will you stop Tom Brady [with a Lugar]; How will you solve the 49ers defense [by hijacking their bus]; Who's gonna' guard Hakeem Nix (no one; we're counting on Eli to screw up].

And the big one: can you beat God - uh, Tebow?

Media Day is full of an international gathering of reporters who can't speak English writing about players they can't understand playing a game they've never seen in a stadium full of drunks.

My question: what's Madonna wearing? And is there a party where I can hit on her?

***

Great quote in the local papers from Cubs new GM Jed Hoyer: "Anytime you go with young players, it's the right thing to do." Welcome to year 105, Cubs fans.

***

If you watch ESPN, you've seen the promos for, "It's not crazy, it's sports." This current theme is what people have risked on bets: being dropped off in the middle of nowhere in a baby outfit; spilling water all over the crotch of your pants so it looks like you peed all over yourself; oddly shaved hair and beard. I want to meet the people who make bets like that and the people who thought to display that in network promos.

ESPN has finally gone over the top. Its promos are too ridiculous. ESPN was once fun to watch because it didn't take itself too seriously. Oh, for the good old days...

***

The Bears are edging closer to naming a GM. Except who wants to be GM of a team where all the GM's decisions have already been made (coach and staff; front-office personnel; roster core)? OK, I'll do it, but only if they call within the next 10 minutes.

***

Some Cubbies are saying the NL Central is up for grabs, what with Prince Fielder gone and Ryan Braun missing in action for 50 games in Milwaukee, plus Albert Pujols outta' here. Hey Cubbies, look around: Brewers have a real pitching staff, Cardinals have a championship staff.

***

Hall-of-Famer Warren Moon calls Oklahoma State's Justin Blackmon a "...beast...like Dez Bryant with all of his brain cells." Uh, Warren, don't get presumptive...

***

The Indianapolis colts reportedly will take Andrew Luck with the first pick in the NFL draft. The NY Jets media will reportedly take Peyton Manning with the first paragraph in their NFL draft coverage.

***

OK, Madonna, prove our generation is better than theirs and outshine the Peas and Q's who performed last year at halftime. Wait a minute, did I say performed?

Enjoy the game. The football too...

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424

Careful what you ask for...

The media asks for so much.


Accountability and transparency from coaches, GMs and managers. So how much do you want to bet that when the Colts draft Andrew Luck with the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft and let Peyton Manning go, the NY media will be screaming in blood for the Jets to go get him, at any cost (imagine the Manning brothers both in NY - oy!).


The New York media just did that to the Knicks to go get Carmelo Anthony last year. So the Knicks did. And gave up four-fifths of a starting lineup to get him. And finished no better than they would've without him, subsequently whisked out of the playoffs.


Anthony would've been a free agent and the Knicks could've finished how and where they did anyway and then just signed him and given up far, far less. The spirit of Isiah Thomas just lives on and on in the organization.


And the NY media loves to encourage it...

***

Would somebody please tell ESPN's "Mike and Mike In The Morning" to only ask regular guest Dick Vitale about basketball, particularly college basketball. I could not care less what he thinks about the NFL playoffs, which they asked him about this morning. Then again, I'm beginning to care less and less of what he thinks about college basketball, for that matter, baybeeeee...

***

This just in: Bulls crowned NBA champs. By Chicago media...

***

Here's a tip for the media that covers the Bears: after spending the last two years complaining that the Bears don't have a true No. 1 receiver (whatever that really is in NFL parlance), then please get all over the Bears from now till draft day to trade up and get Justin Blackmon from Oklahoma State. The kid appears to be the next Calvin Johnson or Steve Smith. Right now, the Bears don't even have Joe the Plumber. Or a GM with whom to get him, having fired Jerry Angelo (and retained head coach Lovie Smith, hmmm...).

Get all over the Bears now to do this and stay all over them or don't complain when they don't do it and instead use that No. 19 pick to take a large person from Samoa who projects to be a great defensive lineman but has never played football before.

***

Did I mention that the Bulls have already won the NBA championship? Read it somewhere in a local paper here in Chicagoland.

Did I mention that we've only had a trace of snow so far this winter in Chicago? No, wait, really, that's all we've had.

***

Michael Jordan's to-do list: Make reservations in Vegas; book tee times in Vegas; reserve private jet while in Vegas to make 45-minute flight to go see NBA game in Phoenix (maybe the Bobcats will be in town); book Vegas hotel chapel for 10 minutes, get married; call Charles Barkley, see if he's kept off weight he's lost and would consider a comeback together; book a suite at Vegas hotel for a couple of hours for a wedding reception; scout that good 3-point shooter at UNLV as long as I'm in town.

***

Caleb Hanie was a hero in Chicago when he rallied the Bears in the Jan. 2011 NFC title game against the Packers, a performance which made him a lock to be the Bears' No. 2 QB this season. After a gazillion interceptions in four games in relief of injured Jay Cutler this year, Hanie has returned to being just another No. 2 QB (hello, Tim Tebow) who will likely be shopping for an apartment in San Diego, Dallas, Atlanta, Tampa or who-knows-where next year. Maybe Calgary.


It snows there. 


Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424

2012 sports media award nominees

Hi:


I'm back for 2012. Two of my Sports classes have to blog, and to bond with them, I blog with them. So I'll be here a few times a week through May, at least.


Now then, the tops in sports media for 2012:

• Please, Chicago media, don't put the Cubs in the World Series yet just because Theo Epstein is in town. He got a little lucky in Boston. The '04 Yankees collapsed. And the NHL folded for the season. Prior to that, the last time there was no Stanley Cup finals was 86 years earlier, which was also the last time the Red Sox had won a World Series. Coincidence? Hmmm...      

• Please, national baseball media, don't tell me the Kansas City Royals are AL Central contenders this year. You tried that last year and it didn't work. They're small market, they lose their best players to the big markets and they suck. Period.

• If sports reporters knew the games better than the coaches, managers and general managers they cover and write about, they'd be the coaches, managers and general managers instead of writing about them. Cover the game, don't second-guess the guys in charge (let them do it themselves, they will), and make sure the A-Rods of the world are exposed as the A-Holes that they are.

• I will miss Vin Scully after this year. Simply the best. Ever. Anywhere. A statue in his honor outside Dodger Stadium would never be an appropriate way to honor him. In fact, there isn't one. He had a vocabulary unparalleled and a voice that was the Sinatra of sportscasters.

• Please, Lord, let T.O. get injured just badly enough when he returns to play arena football that we don't have to hear about him the rest of the season or this year, for that matter.

• Instead of Te-bows, how about covering the Bronc-ohs.

• ESPN, I love those Make-A-Wish tandem stories you do about people overcoming adversity to be able to enjoy a moment in the sun with a favorite team or player. Very heartwarming, enjoyable and caring. Still doesn't cover up all the sores exposed in "ESPN: Those Guys Have All The Fun." You have a lot of work to do.

• Someone, anyone, tell me how Michigan got into a BCS game and Michigan State (conference runnerup who beat them) and Boise State (ranked twice as high in the BCS) did not. Must have been a gift for firing Rich Rodriguez.

• I'm boycotting the BCS title game. I thought they had a safeguard in place to prevent teams that didn't win their conferences, let alone their divisions in their conferences, from playing in the BCS title game after Nebraska did just that some years ago. BCS = Big Championship Scam

• Oh yeah, the Penn State thing, it's over. Let 'em play, let's see who they hire and cover the trial, that's a mandate. But don't forget to cover the healing and the rebuilding.

• I would be remiss in closing without a heartfelt farewell to those I lost in 2011: Clio, Carol Ruden, Gary Kruh, Ed Planer, Rose Economou and Pete Gent. A cuddler, a cousin, a closest-friend-ever, a chairperson, a colleague and a curmudgeon if there ever was one, respectively.

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424