And The Winner Is...

The Schloss-Blog is watching the election debates and is thinking, which candidate will punish the Houston Astros players, the ones who actually did the cheating, instead of just the brain trust that endorsed it?

These are the two biggest problems in society today: can one of the Democratic candidates beat Trump and will someone finally step in and punish the Astros before the players do it themselves by beaning them all season long?

Oh, and where will Tom Brady sign?

Can Bernie Sanders, who just might punish the Astros, beat Trump, but, right now, which Democratic candidate won't? The polls say they will, but they're just polls, snapshots in time. Do you support Medicare for all? Do you want your private insurance eliminated and do you trust in the government to take care of you?

Sorry, Bernie, you're a fellow Brooklyn boy, but I don't. Most of your own Democratic colleagues say a private option is a must, at the very least. But you want to finance this with a wealth tax. Define wealth, please, Bernie. Billionaires? Millionaires? Mark Zuckerberg rich or Bill Gates and Paul Allen rich?

A wealth tax to finance this would actually punish some of the Houston Astros cheaters, what with all the overpaid money that ballplayers get these days. It would tax all those overplayed players from every team. Although, I do believe the players should get whatever they can. Still, the owners gripe about how much money salaries are costing them and then shell out record amounts for the most-coveted free agents.

But the Astros have gotten off easier than the president. That cheating, lying son of a bitch was acquitted by a vote of his cheating, lying son-of-a-bitch supporters.

Last week, I caught a little flak for saying the players should be punished, their titles stripped, in both Houston (2017) and Boston (2018). [Oh, for those of you wondering, I didn't spell it wrong: flak is criticism; a flack is a publicist person who delivers it.]

Look, cheating ballplayers have always been punished, for gambling (see Rose, Pete), and steroid use (see, for example, Rodriguez, Alex).

But for cheating that won two titles in two different cities, players have not been punished. This is an outright disgrace, exemplified by the commissioner himself calling the World Series championship trophy a piece of metal.

So nice to see cheating endorsed by Major League Baseball. Even Tom Brady, the Golden Boy of pro football, got suspended over an ounce of air.

But the Astros won't be suspended over a hunk of metal. You know, the one they were banging on to convey illicitly stolen signals over what pitch was coming to their hitters. The Red Sox of 2018 should be too.

Boston likes to think of itself as the city of champions, what with all the Super Bowls and World Series the Patriots and Red Sox have won of late.

Who cares how or how often they had to cheat to do it? City of Cheaters is more like it nowadays.

Anyway, my Radio Free Phoenix show will give shout-outs to former Columbia College students and professional colleagues alike this weekend. But not to the Red Sox nor Astros. They should just be taken out. On stretchers.

Good night Mrs. Calabash.