Thanks to Erin - you've done a lot of things wrong, my little girl, but Jordan is not one of them. But next time we're watching him play basketball and one of your high school crushes is there, a former star athlete, watching his son play, it's OK for you to say hi to him instead of sending me, the sports reporter who saw him play several times making for an easy re-introduction. Yes, he asked if I was your father and if you were there, d'oh, while you were curling up, hiding behind your Starbucks cup.
Thanks to ION television for providing me with hours of binge-watching syndicated episodes of Blue Bloods, Law & Order, Law & Order C.I., Chicago P.D. and NCIS Los Angeles. Oprah's network and USA provide a lot of the same too. No need to be an intellectual, tenured professor anymore now that I'm retired from that gig.
Thank you to Emily Horos at the Arizona Republic and John Radtke at the Daily Herald for keeping me busy on football sidelines and in high school gyms. Beats the hell out of sitting home and binge-watching Blue Bloods, Law & Order, Law & Order C.I. ... no, wait.
Thank you to Bridget Moynahan for being the sexiest A.D.A on any television police show. She still misses Tom. Tom still misses Wes Welker and Rob Gronkowski.
Thanks to Modern Family and Criminal Minds for many years of entertainment. How unfortunate they were all too accurate, even though Criminal Minds got so dark I couldn't watch it anymore. The bad part, the truthfully awful, scary part, is they get their plot ideas from hanging around at courthouses and perusing real criminal cases.
Thanks to Larry & Joan, Dave & Janice, Lauren and Fernando and Karla and Wayne for being our built-in Arizona family before we ever even bought our house there. You guys have been nice to "come home to" every time we come out there and there is no replacing that feeling. Karla, next time we go for drinks, don't walk the wrong way around the hill to our meeting spot so we miss each other.
Thanks to Radio Free Phoenix for giving me a creative outlet for my wackiness and discourse. I don't even have to talk about the music, if I don't want to, right Janie Pecorella? We need a Nathan's night, girlfriend.
Thank you Whistleblower and Democrats for catching Donald Trump in the act. And what an act it has been. The trial is gonna' make The Intern look like junior high school civics class, including the whispered, under-your-breathe, giggled name-calling.
Thank you Danielle and Evan, respectively, for taking very good care of our retirement needs. TIAA and Ameriprise, I salute you.
Thank you, God, for Margot Robbie.
Thank you, God, for Ohio State being in the college football final four. My wife is not depressed this year. Just don't let them win it all or I'm going back to Arizona two weeks before her.
Thank you Rolling Stones for touring ... 50 years and still counting, counting the $5 million per concert, that is, on the U.S. tour this past summer. Now the Doobie Brothers, with Michael McDonald, no less, are doing a 50th, and the Beach Boys did seven years ago.
In the past 10 years, we have caught up with Springsteen and the E Street Band, the Stones, the Eagles (twice), Ray Davies (of the Kinks), Jackson Browne, Ringo Starr and his All-Starr Band and Crosby, Stills and Nash. Nobody picks a guitar like Steven Stills (okay, Clapton, and Joe Walsh), nobody has sold more albums than the Eagles, nobody has more fun than Ringo and his rotation of all-star mates from various Rock 'n' Roll, Hall-of-Fame bands, nobody is a consummate showman like Davies and nobody but nobody electrifies a crowd like Springsteen.
Nobody. However, Davies has Cougars literally throwing themselves at him, trying to crawl up on the stage, at the end of his show (Girl, I want, to be with you, all of the time, all day, and all of the night...)
Thank you, God. Clarence Clemons, Tom Petty you are missed. Steve Perry, kiss and make up with Journey already.
Good night, Mrs. Calabash. Merry Chrismahanukwanzukah to all, Love, Jordan and Coop (and Grandpa).
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