North By Nordwestern

People need to learn how to use language.

For instance, Nordstrom told me I'd have a jacket coming from another store in 5 days. I didn't. Then they said it actually takes 3-8 days.

There was a time Nordstrom was known for its unparalleled service, not for making excuses. Once I get that jacket delivered, they're going to lose a good customer.

Me.

***

So I'm reading Chicago Magazine and in a response to a criticism of their "Power 100" edition, they mention that "...Chicago [Magazine] does not accept free meals at Next or any restaurant it reviews."

Fair enough, and I certainly hope so. But does that mean they do accept free meals at restaurants they don't review? Or that they accept free meals at restaurants and then just don't review them? C'mon guys, get the lingo down right.

BTW, Grant Achatz way ahead of Dick Durbin in the city's "Power 100?" Really? Durbin could probably find a way to shut Achatz down if he really wanted to, but I doubt Achatz could knock Durbin out of the U.S. Senate. Time to change the name to "Influential 100."  Maybe "Popular 100," ya' think?

***

Is it true, the Dolphins were considering cutting Brandon Marshall just before the Bears swooped in and served up a couple of draft choices for him?

So, the Bears fired a GM (Jerry "Whistle Dixie" Angelo) who screwed up and signed an alleged drug dealer (Sam Hurd) so they could hire a new GM (Phil Emery) who could trade for a wide receiver (Marshall) with a documented police record of domestic battery and assault.

A Chicago Tribune reader, sizing up the team on offense, commented that Marshall's addition to the Bears means "...the possibilities are awesome."

Yeah, that's what Marshall's wife said.

***

Ace reporter Warren Sapp of the NFL Network says former Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey is the "rat" who spilled to the league on the New Orleans "bounty" program administered by now-suspended former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams.

Call it the "Invasion of the Bounty Snatchers" or the "Invasion of the Body Snappers," but whatever you call it, Warren Sapp is hardly the investigative reporter I trust to break the story on who the "rat" is.

At least, that's what Drew Brees told me.

***

In the great traditions of Brandon Roy, Sam Bowie and even Arvydis Sabonis, yet another star Portland Trailblazer has been released or retired prematurely due to injury in the person of Greg Oden.

How did Yao Ming not end up on this franchise?

***

The Arena Football League has opened its season amid player unrest on the labor front and organizational  finances in question, or so ace investigative reporter Warren Sapp is saying.

And I keep asking myself, "Yeah, so what?"

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424