This Is Gonna' Be Ugly

One thing is certain after the impeachment inquiry hearings in the House: the presidential campaign is going to be ugly in 2020 and will likely filter to down-ballot elections.

Which is a shame. Remember when we were one country, indivisible?

An angry Donald Trump, having to be the first president to run for reelection as an impeached president (OK, Andrew Johnson was, but he failed to get the party's nomination), will be even angrier than he normally is.

This is what you will hear on the campaign trail: open borders ... MS-13 ... coming for your guns. I'm still looking for MS-13 down the street from my Phoenix home. Maybe I should go get a gun that the government won't confiscate to protect myself against them.

Next thing you know, he'll be attacking Colin Kaepernick for being ... Colin Kaeparnick. If it wasn't for Colin Kaepernick, four talented quarterbacks who have never won a playoff game - Matthew Stafford, Derek Carr, Kirk Cousins and Jimmy Garoppolo - might not be among the four most highly paid players in the league, surpassed only by quarterbacks who have won or at least been to Super Bowls (Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, et. al., and here comes Dak Prescott), because Kaepernick would likely have one of their jobs.

Well, at least the president found a sporting event at which he finally got cheered - had to go to Alabama to do it (shocker).

For Thanksgiving, I wish we weren't a divided nation. I wish Colin Kaepernick wasn't being blackballed. I wish Trump had not committed the impeachable acts of bribery, obstruction and abuse of power.

But Kaepernick was and still is and Trump did, respectively (see Hill, Fiona; and Sondland, Gordon; and dare I say Giuliani, Rudy).

It pains me to write this. Pains me that our nation is at this point. Pains me to watch our country's representatives have to go to the pains they have to debate and debunk openly on TV. Pains me that the president, aside from impeachment, who said he would obliterate the nation's debt, has actually increased it at record levels.

This broken promise, more than any impeachment process, will hurt us all going forward. If we all managed our household budgets the way the government manages out nation's budget we'd all be broke and homeless, our houses foreclosed upon, living out of our cars or in tent villages on the streets.

But the economy is great, right, greatest ever, right? Here comes the recession, brace yourselves.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, avoid political discussion around the table, lest it really becomes "Knives Out" and be prudent in your Christmas shopping.

I mean, you don't want it to become ugly, right?

Good night, Mrs. Calabash

What Bothers You, Bothers Me Too

The Schloss-Blog usually talks about what bothers him, but today, we want to talk about what bothers you.

For instance, does it bother you that for all of their complaining, the Republicans are complaining about the process of the impeachment inquiry but not the actual items that will become lines in the Articles of Impeachment, should they be drafted (when they are drafted)?

For instance, does it bother you that ESPN keeps telling you what any certain team's chances are - in specific percentages - of making the College Football Playoff or the NFL playoffs, respectively? I can do that just by eyeballing any team's remaining schedule, as I'm sure you can too. How the heck do they figure out the specific percentages anyway? Who does ESPN think it is, Caesers Palace?

Does it bother you that Jim Jordan of Ohio is a jerk, just a jerk? This is a guy who, as an assistant wrestling coach, allegedly did not report sexual violations in his program but he's more than eager to accuse anyone who's not a Republican of every crime, violation and ethical misjudgment he can possibly think of.

Does it bother you that the Houston Astros have once again been accused of overt cheating, this time stealing signs with sophisticated technology and then communicating them to their hitters with garbage can drum rolls and whistles? Last time, the Astros were accused of hacking into the St. Louis Cardinals' computer systems and were fined for it.

Who do they think they are, the New England Patriots?

Speaking of the Patriots, Tom "I'm gonna' play until I'm 45" Brady has been putting up rather pedestrian numbers of late, especially since starting off the season with two spectacular games and another pretty good one. His QBR, that rating thing the NFL loves, is now at 58.6 though for the season, pretty ordinary. Worse than ordinary.

There is not another Gronk out there to save him or another Edelman or even a Welker. The prediction here, Gisele talks him into retiring (she's retired) and "banged-up" Andrew Luck comes out of retirement to replace him, while Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels becomes head coach in Bill Belichick's place.

Just watch. At least that would put an end to Belichick's entertaining press conferences.

But does it surprise anyone else not that Roger Stone was found guilty, rather quickly, of all seven counts against him, but that Trump could pardon him? Will he? Or would doing so be an admission of Trump's own guilt? Stone lied to Congress and federal investigators to protect Trump as part of the Mueller investigation (remember that?). He regularly predicted he'd be acquitted. Looks like he who lives in glass houses shouldn't be named Stone.

Ask Paul Manafort about a Trump pardon. Ask Mike Flynn. Ask Rick Gates. Ask George Papadopoulos (remember him - he started this whole thing). Heck, ask Celebrity Apprentice contestant Rod Blagojevich. His prize was a prison sentence.

The Mueller investigation, however, so dismissed by the president and his congressional patsies, continues to knock out home runs.

Finally, does it bother anyone that the Bears passed on Patrick Mahomes and DeShaun Watson in the draft to take Mitchell Trubisky? You get what you pay for and boy, did the Bears pay for this. If the Bears don't make the playoffs, should GM Ryan Pace be dusting off his resume?

Calling it a  night. Good night Mrs. Calabash. No radio show tonight - technical difficulties.

Picking Up Where We Left Off...

...the Schloss-Blog wants to pick up on the comment by The Schlossberg about ESPN's Gameday telecasts on Saturday mornings.

They suck.

They just suck, from the revamped opening song with Big & Rich to the formulaic stories and commentaries, it just plain sucks.

First of all, the prior version of "We're Comin' To Your City" with Lzzy Hale was much better than the current version, with the new hot blonde, but Lzzy Hale is da' bomb.

The new version doesn't have the impact, doesn't have the pizzaz, doesn't have that certain je ne sais quoi. It also doesn't have Big Kenny's bare armpits, which are gross.

Lzzy Hale puts everything into that song, and you can see it at the end when she strokes her last riff in exhaustion. Just watch it and tell me different. I don't even think Joey Hottinger takes her there.

Now, it's no longer big or rich. The show, that is. Neither is the song.

The show has become, as mentioned, so formulaic. From the opening song to the smiling panel declaring how great the games are going to be because of how great all the players are and because, most of all, of how big the game is. (OK, I admit it - I'm watching AM Joy on MSNBC by then.)

Every week, it's the next "game of the century." I mean, you better not skip Marshall against UConn. Sounds like a good NIT matchup though.

Moving right along, can't skip Maria Taylor's insightful interview with the coach of one of the participating teams. I mean, I don't know about you, but I definitely want to know what the team had for breakfast.

Soon thereafter, Tom Rinaldi introduces you to someone like me, who's been among The Walking Dead since last year, and is now the inspiration for a Fox animation series on Sunday nights. By the way, there is no known cure Walking Dead disease except a bullet to the head. No wonder people shoot themselves in the foot instead, just not while they stick foot in mouth.

Anyway, the only thing worth watching is the game-winner selections at the end of the show, while Lee Corso puts on a weird hat and tells everyone else how wrong they are while so often disappointing the home team crowd behind him so many times. His picks, while humorous, are predictable. Notre Dame. Alabama. Ohio State. Oklahoma. Florida. Clemson. The guest picker usually has a better percentage than The Coach. The guest picker, unless it's Jerry Seinfeld or Katy Perry, isn't worth watching.

Such a tough job. Such difficult analyses.

Chris Hilvert, wherever you are, you're right; time to give Fox Big Noon Kickoff a look. Well, for now - Urban Meyer will leave to become the head coach at USC or Texas or Arkansas or the New York Giants next year. Maybe the Los Angeles Chargers, who need to sell tickets in their new stadium because they suck (did you watch them against the Raiders?).

Of course, Jon Gruden and the Raiders need to make the playoffs to ensure their ticket sales and PSLs in Las Vegas next year. Their fans must be ready to commute from Oakland to Vegas next year because they are still selling out the old Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum to support a coach with an unprecedented 10-year, $100 million contract, whose recently fired brother will likely be his offensive coordinator next year.

Unless he's Urban Meyer's offensive coordinator at USC. Texas? New York Giants?

Did I mention that ESPN GameDay really sucks?

Someone tell Trump, who got booed at a UFC event, he can't have his chocolate cake and eat it too at the G7 at the Doral. And tell Gordon Sondland you can't lie to Congress.

And tell Trump to stop going to sporting events until he finds one at which he won't get booed, and to stop playing golf and making believe he's working. No, wait...

Happy 20th anniversary, Chris Matthews. Hardball rocks.

Happy birthday to me. Yes, Colleen Harrison, I am still 54 today. Again.

Tune in on Radio Free Phoenix tonight. You never know who gets a shout out, Bob Frisk. Goodnight Mrs. Calabash.

More questions...

So, the Schloss-Blog wants to know...

• Who's the best QB in college football: Herbert from Oregon? Fromm from Georgia? Book from Notre Dame? Burrow from LSU? Tagiovailoa from 'Bama? Patterson from Michigan? Stanley from Iowa? Ehlinger from Texas? In other words, who's eligible for the draft that the Bears can get? Fields from Ohio State is a true freshman, unfortunately.
• Why are the Bears about to go to 3-5?
• Hello, Andy Dalton is available. Eli Manning is available. Nick Foles might be. Cam Newton might be. Heck, Josh McCown is still playing.
• Just spent a weekend in Marin County, where they had the power turned off so the county wouldn't burn up. I get it, safety first. But while PG&E is doing these rolling blackouts, they are also the reason the rolling blackouts are happening. Meanwhile, I was eating chips and playing Scattegories by candlelight with my cousins.
• Why am I going to the Sicilian Butcher for dinner on my anniversary? Sounds like I'm walking into a mob movie. Isn't that where Luca Brasi was killed in Godfather?
• Gonna' play golf with my friend Dave next week. Unless he's going for an MRI on his foot. Or is it his knee? His arm? It's calld, geting old. Older.
• How did Clemson, Alabama and LSU all have the same Saturday off?
• Why does my alma mater (for my M.A.), Northern Illinois, suck this year? Got clobbered by Central Michigan this weekend.
• Remember when UCF was Central Florida? What's wrong with being called Central Florida? They get ticked off if you call them Central Florida.
• Why is my undergraduate alma mater, SUNY-Albany, formerly Albany State, now called UAlbany? That's a powerful athletic connotation. UAlbany, me not happy about it.
• Notre Dame, Texas, Florida, USC, Washington, Michigan are all out of it for the FCS title. Good. Can't stand listening to their obnoxious fans, especially the Irish.
• Is that new WWE-sponsored football league gonna' make it when it comes back next year? Really? Are they trying again? Donald Trump for commissioner - he needs something to do when he's done playing president.
• Any truth to the rumor that the new TV show "Evil" is based on the Trump family history of discriminatory housing, everywhere from Queens to Baltimore?
• While I'm happy that I'll be able to come back to my Arizona place earlier than usual this spring, it's because my snowbird-tenant the last six years is battling cancer. Sad. That was not the reason why I wanted to be able to come back to the desert earlier than I usually do in the spring.
• The Washington Nationals are scheduled to go to the White House on Monday. Will they all go, especially the minority team members? The Red Sox minority team members didn't last year, including and especially their Puerto Rican. And do the Nats remember that their fans mercilessly booed the president when he was at game 5 of the World Series last week, so how is attending the White House going to sit with their fans (Trump is highly unpopular in D.C. and the area)?
• Why were the Bears the hit of the league last year and suck this year? Has everyone just caught on to their schemes?
• My Giants and Jets still suck. What else is new? New York sports suck right now.
• Quiz (no googling): Name the nine teams in the NHL, MLB, NBA and NFL whose nicknames do not end in an 's' and do it in less than a minute. Then name the six pairs of teams in the same four leagues that have the exact same nicknames (example: in college, Kentucky "Wildcats" and Northwestern "Wildcats," an exact match). 

Good luck. Listen in to the Howard Hours on Radio Free Phoenix. I'm on Saturday and Sunday next weekend, 9-midnight, Arizona time. You never know who gets a shout-out, right Bill Filetti? Good night, Mrs. Calabash.