2014 sucked

Trends we hope vanished with the turning of the calendar:

• If you went to a NASCAR event, you saw a hockey game break out;
• If you went to a baseball game, it's not over yet;
• If you went to a football game, you saw a bunch of criminals and wife-beaters in pads and helmets competing on the field, but YOU got patted down and searched at the gate;
• If you went to an NHL game, you wondered why they all can't be like the Olympic hockey, y'know, without the enforcer goons who can't skate worth a lick;
• If you went to the Olympics in Sochi, you are still being followed by a stray dog looking for scraps. Her name is Anja, she's a buxom blonde and she wants to be your bride so she can come to Ah--meer--ee--kah;
• If you went to a college football game, you saw a bunch of guys competing who rarely went to college classes;
• If you followed the college football playoff polls, you got the biased best of the good ole boys network and a gal whose qualifications are that she is a member at Augusta National;
• If you watched football on TV, you wondered why the hell they have replay when they fail to use it to correct wrong calls and confirm right calls;
• If you watched the new SEC Network, you saw Paul Finebaum get beat up by Alabama fans - for being right;
• If you went to or watched a University of Kentucky basketball game this season, you saw the next NBA champions. No, really, you did;
• If you watched the University of Texas Longhorn Network, you saw a pretty freakin' bad football team that has its own TV station;
• If you went to or are a fan of TCU or Baylor football, you're wondering what the heck is going on out there.

And if you're a pro football fan, you are reminded of the words of Bill Polian, the ESPN analyst and former Colts GM, who always reminds you, "If you listen to the fans, you'll sit with the fans."

Phil Emery, Marc Trestman, your tickets are at Will Call. Your seats are right next to Mike Smith's, Rex Rhyan's and John Idzik.

Speaking of will call, now that the Bears have called Ryan Pace to be their GM, who will he call to be their head coach? Will it be his Saints/Eastern Illinois buddy, Sean Payton? Incest is best, after all. And rampant in the NFL.

Oh yeah, that Mueller Report, saying the NFL should've dug further but didn't have the in-elevator video in its possession at the time it issued its original punishment to Ray Rice, is a ton of crap

And as to that College Football Playoff Final game tomorrow night between Ohio State and Oregon, the winner plays TCU for the title the following week.

Sorry Phyllis. The SEC is not only out, it's down. For the count. 

Here's to 2015.

Fair-Weather Farts

Sitting in a bar, watching the fair-weather Blackhawks fans fill the place and watch the 'Hawks win. Fans sighing and dying with every shot on goal.

Where were they when then 'Hawks were struggling? Once thing about the 'Hawks, as long as Joel Quennville is the coach, the 'Hawks will never get outhustled, never get beat by a team that plays harder or with more heart.

Quennville won't allow it. It's why the 'Hawks dominate at game's end or rally from ridiculous deficits. You can't coach heart. You can demand it.

***

From the "Really?" department:

The NFL fines Colin Kaepernick for wearing non-authorized headphones. Really? The Jacksonville Jaguars mascot runs around with a sign saying, "Towels Carry Ebola." Really? And Danny Green of the Spurs tweets a selfie at the Berlin Holocaust Memorial and says, "...lol, @Holocaust." Really?

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Jerry Angelo tells USA Today that hundreds and hundreds of domestic-abuse cases were swept under the rug, including his own team's.

Really? He has since backed off from and modified his remarks. Guess he got a phone call from the league reminding him that if he ever wants to work in the NFL again, he better shut up.

***

A New Jersey powerhouse high school football team has suspended the rest of its season in the wake of hazing allegations that include inappropriate sexual contact.

Or, a case of the next class of high school kids who think they're smarter than the previous classes that got caught.

They're not.

Parents are incensed that the season has been suspended. Too bad. Hello, those are your kids doing the hazing.

***

In St. Louis, Cardinals' fans are being pointed at by Ferguson-shooting protesters as the demographic majority responsible for turning a blind eye to the racial divides in the area that caused the shooting death in the first place.

Maybe. And maybe NY Giants fans are the reason that Sayreville War Memorial High had its season suspended over a hazing incident.

Michael Brown, the Ferguson shooting victim, was wearing a Cardinals' hat when he was shot.

Maybe the Ferguson prosecutor should get the grand jury off its butts.

Nick This ... And That

Nicknames are all the rage these days. Y'know, those hip-hop handles that just shorten what mom and dad gave you when you popped out.

D-Rose. D-Wade. LBJ (The King, not The Prez). Even A-Rod, or is it A-Roid? Of course, celebs have J-Lo and The Biebs.

Not so much in football. A-Rod is already taken. P-Man? I don't think so. Nor little brother E-Man. T-Bra? Gisele won't like that. And would it be J-Man or J-Foot? How about J-Bench?

Oh for the days of R-Moss, T-Aik and T-Brad (Pittsburgh, not New England). Instead, we have the legacy of The Playmaker, Peanut and if you can remember back far enough, we had Jolly Roger, Fran the Scram and Bambi.

How boring. Well, we'll always have O.J. Whatever that stands for.

***

Reporters who cover football just don't get any love, from the players and coaches, that is.

You've seen it. Jay Cutler dissed every football beat writer when he told Chicago Bears media that they would be negative and wouldn't understand if he explained to them what happened, precisely, on the plays where he threw interceptions in the season opener against Buffalo. It was a loss, by the way, almost directly attributable to the pair of picks.

Sure, Jay, we cover football because we like the insults. And the overt insinuation that we are stupid.

And let's not forget Ryan Leaf practically jumping down a reporter's throat over what he wrote or might write about him. Very mature, Ryan. How are you doing, by the way, since washing out of the game?

Now comes Bill Belichick, and not for the first time, making sure to dis reporters with a snarky laugh at the question over his team's quarterback play in the Patriots' one-sided loss to Kansas City. Maybe he forgot about Spygate and how he shrugged off questions about it to invite inquiries about that week's opponent, about whom nobody in the public or the media could've cared less.

And let's not forget the Oklahoma State football coach who encouraged a reporter to talk to him and not his players because he's "a man." I guess his players aren't. Hey, he recruited them. If that's how a man behaves, then all is not OK in Oklahoma.

Hey, Mike, the reporter offered to go over her story with you line by line for accuracy. You refused.

And now Jim Harbaugh is saying Deion Sanders' report is preposterous, even laughable, that 49ers' players are getting fed up with him and want him out.

Haven't seen too many 49ers players laughing.

Even Kirk Herbstreit said this morning that the public assumption is absurd that he, an Ohio Stater, is gleeful about the situation at Michigan. He's actually sad about what it says about the mindset there and the mindset in the general public.

That might be a product of too many fans drinking too much beer. And Herbstreit being a Buckeye.

 ***

If anyone thinks the NFL is not about bad boys, very bad boys, then think again.

It has never been more clear that the league is all about keeping its best players on the field, no matter who they abused, beat up or hit.

The investigation into what's going on in league offices over the Ray Rice video will likely reveal everything but that.

In other words, that the real bad boys are the billionaires.

I Don't Believe This

Are you still standing in line for a new iPhone? You're an idiot.

***

Is Jameis Winston still on the Florida State roster? Why? He's an arrogant bastard. He is everything that is wrong with college football, especially at Florida State, where winning comes before discipline, appropriateness, ethics and, perhaps most importantly, education.

***

The New York Giants won twice, which means there is are teams with a worse offensive coordinator than theirs. 

I think.

Or else the Redskins were still so made about their brawl with the Eagles that they were totally drained from it or just plain forgot to show up for the Giants.

***

One more thing about Jameis Winston: he could never play for my pro team, never. Would never draft him. I don't care how many Heisman Trophies he wins.

***

If you're still in line for a new iPhone, hey, guess what? They ran out.

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Did Jameis Winston really deliver the pregame pep talk against Clemson, a game for which he was suspended? Does anyone at Florida State understand the meaning of "suspended?"

Dumb question.

***

If you know math, what does 6 + 8 equal? Trouble for Apple, that's what.

***

Did the New England Patriots really only score 16 points against Oakland? They are looking awfully vulnerable, awfully ordinary.

As are the 49ers. Very pedestrian. Too many guys suspended, hurt or have just tuned out Harbaugh.

Or is Colin Kaepernick back to Earth? Alex Smith had a heck of a game for the Chiefs in their win at Miami. The same Miami that beat New England.

There is a reason teams trade for someone else's starting quarterbacks (Smith, Matt Cassell, Jay Cutler, Carson Palmer). Somebody else didn't want them. Or they can't win the big one. Or one good year does not a good career make. Or they had one lucky year and otherwise suck. Or they were way overrated coming out of college (especially if it was Oregon - i.e. Joey Harrington, Akili Smith).

***

It's been a good week in the NFL. No one arrested. Yet.

***

Oh lord. Just passed an Apple Store. People still in line. Yikes...

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Were those really the Green Bay Packers today against Detroit? They sucked. They're 1-2 and have played, in essence, two good quarters of football in three games and are lucky not to be 0-3. Should've lost to the Jets. Where are the real Packers? You've got to be kidding me.

And did you see the arrogance, the play-not-to-lose attitude of the Rams against Dallas after building a 21-0 lead? They crumbled. Arrogance lasts one play. Wins last all week. All season. You've got to be kidding me.

Couldn't help but notice, watching the Mississippi State-LSU game, how the refs decided to keep a one-sided game closer than it should've been. Called a holding penalty on Mississippi State on a dive play from the LSU 1 on which they scored. I swear, he had the flag out and was running in to make the call as the ball was snapped. You've got to be kidding me.

Did the Giants fire Ben McAdoo? Because they scored 30 points today. They've been pathetic on offense until today with this guy calling the shots. Then again, the Packers have been pathetic on offense without him so far this season. Hmmm... makes you wonder. Two teams, one without him, one with him, both suck. Can't have it both ways, can you? You've got to be kidding me.

My NIU Huskies got destroyed by Arkansas. Destroyed. They thought they were worthy of a national ranking after beating Presbyterian. You've got to be kidding me.

The U.S. Men's National Basketball team beat everyone by about 30 points at the FIBA World Championships. Looks like we really needed the NBA all-stars there, huh? You've got to be kidding me.

Life In The Slow Lane

The Eagles, God bless 'em, sang about "Life in the Fast Lane."

Today, it is life in the slow lane. At the Starbucks near my office, everyone from CNA Insurance and DePaul Law are in there. Everyone. The line double-curls around the service counter and almost out the door. It blocks the revolving door in.

The line isn't moving because people are not watching it - they're glaring at their little smartphone screens as if life itself depended on it, as if their text messages and emails are the most-important things in the universe.

"Did my boyfriend like the dinner I made for him last night?" "What time are me and the bff meeting for a drink?" "Ugh, I am not ready for this exam. Are you?" No, wait, "Uh, i am not reddy 4 this exam, r u?"

There. That's better.

Me, I want my hot cocoa and chocolate croissant (mmmmmm ... good). So I can get to my office and babble about these idiots.

The baristas and cashiers do work hard and hustle. Gotta' give 'em credit (and a nice tip). They keep it moving. Their customers don't.

***

 Everyone in line at the Metra train station ticket window has to have a conversation with the booth clerk. Everyone.

Updates on grandchildren, children and golf game, Gripes about the weather, the Cubs (what else is new?), the White Sox and skepticism about the Bears mysterious win at San Francisco.

How about swiping your credit card and buying your freakin' ticket? Geez.

Train's pulling in. Ain't gonna' make it now. Thanks, slowpokes. Thanks for nothing. And that picture of your grandkids, it's not Facebook worthy.

Say Yes To Michigan (State)

Last year, three quarterbacks from North Carolina State wound up starting in the NFL (Wilson, Rivers, Glennon). Two made the playoffs. One took the Super Bowl.

Yesterday, three quarterbacks from Michigan State played at the very least in starter roles  (Hoyer, Stanton, Cousins). All won. An omen?

And they say the SEC is the best conference. Hah!
                                        ***
The refs are figuring far too much in NFL outcomes so far.

Too many flags yesterday in the NFL. Sixteen against San Francisco alone in their come-from-ahead loss. Three against the Bears on one special teams play in that game.

And the ref who didn't see who called timeout in the Jets-Packers game and granted it even though it wasn't by the head coach and even though the assistant who did it was telling the head coach to do it and not doing it himself.

Because, by rule, he can't.

Got all that?

The refs in general are hesitant to make calls and pretty much turn anything close over to the replay booth. It's time to take replay out of the game.

It slows everything down, drags it out and doesn't always get it right anyway.

Give the game back to the refs. Watch them get things right without big brother peering over their shoulders.
                                        ***
A lot of guys got hurt yesterday. A lot.

It's time reinstate hitting in training camp. Guys are getting babied in camp and then injured in games.

Stop it. Now. Stop it.