Lawbreakers and other heroes

This is dedicated to unsafe drivers, bad offensive linemen, crooked politicians, would-be terrorists who spoof sports and, of course, Facebook.

***

So this YouTube video of a guy crashing his Lamborghini in a Chicago suburb so went viral. Just an ordinary guy crashing an extraordinary car.


Where was YouTube when Lance Briggs did this?

***

Say it with me now: "Mets no-hitter! Mets no-hitter!" 

***

Jay Cutler has been telling the media that he still has doubts about his offensive line's ability to protect now that the Bears drafted for defense and signed and/or traded for running backs and wide receivers.

None of whom will do any good for him or the team if he's flat on his back. Or worse, on Injured Reserve.

Caleb Hanie, last year was not all your fault.

Or was it?

Either way Jay, you shouldn't be dissin' your teammates and throwing them under the bus, especially the ones who are supposed to be protecting you.

Or should you?

***

John Edwards is not guilty of using campaign funds to conceal, protect and deceive over his affair with a woman who got pregnant while his wife was gravely ill and he was trying for the White House.

He might not have broken the law, but he sure is guilty. Once more the rich and influential do what they want, when and where they want to and with whomever they want.

And get away with it.

Damn, I sure hope O.J.'s plan to find the real killers is working out for him.

***

So, I'm in Canada, reading their version of USA Today, and the cover story is about a Canadian-born terrorist who is now relating how he mocked the North American lifestyle he once lived.

Heck, I do that everyday and I'm not a terrorist.

Now though, the terrorist, Omar Hammami, lives the life of no running water, no bathing, no healthy foods, no sanitary conditions and no life, really.

Go get 'em, kid. The only thing scary about you is your God-awful beard.

And your body odor.

***

With so many pitchers having "Tommy-John" elbow surgery or rotator-cuff shoulder surgery, you have to ask the question:

WTF is coaching and training these guys? Pitching coaches and pro trainers get so much praise for their abilities. Really? How come so many of their pupils go down with damaged wings?

***

Facebook has gone public with a stock market valuation of more than $100 million. More than $100 million!!!!!!

I write stinging sports commentaries on Facebook. I'm designing a course to teach about that. You'd think the assholes - uh, wise people - who run Facebook could 'grant' me $100,000 in seed money to develop the course and spread the gospel about how they are becoming the world's biggest web site.

No, wait...

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424   Journal of Sports Media, University of Nebraska PressColumbia College Chicago, Department of JournalismHoward Schlossberg, Sports Correspondent, Daily Herald (www.dailyherald.com)

A Little Thissa', A Lotta' Thatta'

This is dedicated to everyone who still can't believe the Bulls lost to the 76ers. Someone in academia, please, do a study of the Chicago sports fan and tell us why we're better than Philadelphia fans. Or are we?

***

CUBS' fans, someone griped to the Tribune, wondering if the Washington Nationals would become the next expansion team to win a pennant since the Cubs last did ('45). He says there are 16 that have done so (is he counting division crowns too?). Does it matter though?

The Cubs were supposed to win it when they hired Dallas Green. When they hired Jim Frey. When they hired Lou Piniella. When they hired Andy McFail (uh, MacPhail, whose Orioles are thriving now without him. Hmmm...).

Good luck, Theo. Long live the curse.

***

YO, Patrick Kane, you're doing commercials now.

Grow up!

***

HAS Major League Baseball expanded too much, too fast? Have all sports?

All I know is I look over pitching lines for upcoming games and through box score for games just played and recognize few if any of the pitchers' names listed.

Stults? Paulino? Duffy? Who are these guys? And in basketball, who are these guys playing for Charlotte, let alone coming off the bench for the Clippers? That's Vinny Del Negro's Clippers!

Contraction in several sports looks good right now. That way we can have real "major-league level" competition for once instead AA and AAA teams in the majors and better than D-Leaguers in the NBA.

***

SO I'm reading where a Chicago Tribune columnist is calling upon Bulls' all-star Luol Deng to skip the Olympics for his adopted England and get his ailing wrist repaired now so he's ready for the 2012-2013 season. And that's especially with former MVP Derrick Rose out for the beginning of the season following major knee surgery.

If Rose wasn't hurt, he'd be on the U.S. Olympic team too. That notwithstanding though, would the writer (David Haugh) urge Rose not to play in the Olympics if he was healthy or if the nature of his injury was such that he would've healed in time to play? Better yet, would Haugh cover the Olympics at the cost of never covering the Bulls again, even in a game 7 of the NBA Finals? Which is exactly how Deng feels about playing in the Olympics. 

Sometimes, it's not always the money.

***

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED published a reader poll in which it asked whether Martin Brodeur of the New Jersey Devils was the best goaltender ever.

Apparently, they never heard of Vladislav Tretiak, the Russian great who never got to show his wares in the NHL because he was pre-Communist collapse. He coached some NHL greats, including Eddie Belfour.


And nothing wrong with Ken Dryden or Patrick Roy either. Or Terry Sawchuk. However, cat-quick Roger Crozier was the best I ever saw during a career and a lifetime restricted only by his health, not his ability.

***

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED highlighted Yannick Hanfmann, a 21-year-old German freshman at USC, for his championship-level play in helping the Trojans win 45 straight matches.

Yes, we said 21 and a freshman. Which means he's been playing tennis longer than U.S. prep stars competing for the same scholarship he got.

Thank you, NCAA, for allowing 20-something foreigners to participate in and perhaps dominate in this sport against less-experienced (by default) American competitors. And thank you S.I. for not noting that in your summary about him.

No wonder I stuck to intramurals in college.

***

JUNIOR SEAU is gone and it's a pity how and likely why it happened.

It's getting to the point where you could almost perceive that football is killing people. Literally.

Right now, we're still all fans of the king of sports, with its regular sellouts and mountainous media rights' fees. But how much longer will you be a fan when someone close to you dies, a relative perhaps, a close friend?

Your son? Hello media, whatever you've already done on this, you need to do more. We need the truth, whatever it is.

Now.

***

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424   Journal of Sports Media, University of Nebraska PressColumbia College Chicago, Department of JournalismHoward Schlossberg, Sports Correspondent, Daily Herald (www.dailyherald.com)

Here, We-Go

No, this is not a Bud Light commercial. Don't let the headline go to your head (head, like on a beer, get it?).


But God knows I've seen enough of Bud Light after watching the NHL playoffs, the NBA playoffs, the NFL draft and doing all I can do to avoid Chicago baseball.


BLOOM IS OFF D-ROSE:
Maybe the Bulls are toast without Derrick Rose and maybe not, but as reported on my Twitter and Facebook accounts, there is no truth to the rumor they are activating his Simeon High alma mater's current star, Jabari Parker, to take his place.


But they thought about it...


MEMO TO ESPN:
Top Plays means plays, like great catches, amazing baskets and stupendous goal-scoring. Phil Humber's perfect accident - uh, game - is a highlight, not a play.


Just like Most Valuable Player is someone off a contender, not someone who had the best year. That would be the Most Outstanding Player (MOP?). The Most Valuable Player is not necessarily someone who put up the best stats. It's someone who provided the most-invaluable contribution to his or her team's playoff or playoff-contending season.


Oh, one more thing, ESPN: Lose Bill Polian. He has a brilliant football mind, no doubt about it, but he adds nothing with his "play-if-safe" commentaries for you. You brought him on so that when he lands his next GM job, he'll feed you inside nuggets, and you know it. We all knew when you brought Rush Limbaugh on board that he was an idiot (was?, no still is!), but we all watched, waiting for his idiot moment. Which he finally delivered.


CUB-STEIN:
Theo Epstein is telling Cubs fans, through the media, to be patient through the team's poor start so far this season. He's telling himself, "Oy! Bobby Valentine has it easy right now compared to this."


GETTING DRAFTY:
So, ESPN's Herm Edwards, who I love, says the St. Louis Rams did a great job in the draft, stockpiling picks to build for the future. Then how come they let Tampa Bay swoop in right under them and grab Justin Blackmon, the Oklahoma State breakout wide receiver, instead of trading up into that position themselves for the player they really wanted. Regarding that guy (LSU's Morris Claiborne) they are now saying," No, we wanted [him] all along," with the next pick.


Sam Bradford, your QB, disagrees.


HIT ME UP:
So, if Robin Ventura was such a great roving hitting instructor in the White Sox organization before becoming manager this year, how come the White Sox still can't hit? And he worked with all or most of these guys in the minors! Robin, you were a great hitter. These guys ain't. Get used to it, fans. Dayan Viciedo is the next Alex Rios.


No, wait...


PERFECT PREDICTION:
On my Twitter (@hschlossberg) and Facebook accounts, I predicted immediately after Phil Humber's perfect game that the Boston Red Sox, his next slated start, would light him up.


Just send cigars and I like a good merlot. Thanks.


QUIT'CHUR GRIPIN':
Chicago, quit griping about D-Rose's injury. It happened, it's over, that's that. The Bulls stats, across the board, are better in the 27 games he missed this year (they were 18-9) than in the games in which he played, including a win over Miami.


CHECK IT OUT:
My Advanced Sports Reporting students have produced a fabulous online magazine again this semester, as they do each spring. It will be active this week (last year's is still up), a tremendous feature-oriented, truly multimedia effort called, "Beyond the Game," at www.beyond-the-game.com. Please check it out. I'll put up notices on Twitter and Facebook when it goes active.


And to the students, a hearty and heartfelt thanks and congrats.


--HS


Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424  

Endangered Species

I love softball. I love playing softball.


So it was a thrill Saturday night to attend the 16th annual Chicago 16-Inch Softball Hall of Fame induction banquet at Drury Lane Center in Oak Brook, Ill.


Problem is, the game is dying. What's 16-inch, you ask? A game played with a ball that size, slow-pitch, no gloves (no gloves!) and athletes who excel at it somehow. Originally invented as a Great Depression game designed to save on space and equipment costs, it became the signature game of the Chicago area.


Now, though, everyone plays 12 inch and you can hardly find a 16-inch league anywhere, even in the Chicago area. Still, it was stirring to see a team I once covered as a young reporter be inducted along with its 16-inch parent team, the Bruins. Several of the guys were there. I traveled to Sheboygan, Wis., and Fenton, Mo., to watch them play for titles. I became known as "Flashbulbs" because I somehow managed to capture on film their most-emotional, most-exciting and most-controversial moments.


Now, like me, they play golf, raise kids, pay mortgages and try to live the American Dream. I can't tell you how much fun I had covering them consecutive summers. Mostly because, I can't...


...But suffice it to say they had as much fun off the field as they had on it and several can never return to Sheboygan, according to local county police records (jk).


Then again, I've never had anyone tell me they wanted to return to Sheboygan for anything. Except, that is (personal to Dave Wilhelm here), for a shower curtain. Thanks, Dave.


Congratulations to the Bruins, 12- and 16-inch teams. Honor well deserved.


There was a guy inducted Saturday into the Hall of Fame who once went 77-for-79 in some tournament or another. Incredible. I did that when I was potty training.


See you guys at the first tee...

***

Saw a post to the Chicago Tribune's web site in which the author claims the Bulls will get past the Miami Heat in the NBA playoffs this year. If they get to the Heat. If they're lucky, they won't draw the red-hot, getting-healthy Boston Celtics in the second round.

So long, Bulls, if that happens.

***

In a Tribune blog, a writer claims Cubs minor-league prospects Anthony Rizzo (first base), Josh Vitters (third base) and Adrian Cardenas (second base) are grooming for the future World Series the Cubs will eventually win. Guys starting at those positions now had no comment but said they hope they can get tickets to see their replacements win a World Series.

***

Roger Clemens is back on trial for lying about using performance-enhancing substances. Didn't anyone read the coverage of the first trial, which ended in a mistrial?

He's already been convicted by the media. Geez, c'mon.

***

And finally, the State of Illinois is pushing legislation to expand riverboat gambling and even install slot machines at racetracks to enhance the take.

The problem? Any state looking to balance its budget by relying on revenues generated from taxes from the gambling losses of people who likely can least afford it is in serious trouble. Illinois already tried this with The Lottery, which, almost 40 years ago, was supposed to keep education funded in this state eternally.

Uh, I teach in this state. It ain't working. Gambling revenue winds up in the pockets of guys who ... well, you know, have no visible means of support.

Go rent "Casino" and then tell me if you still want gambling in your state. Media watchdogs, where are you?

###

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424  

What People In Sports Shouldn't Say

Ozzie Guillen, meet Al Campanis, Jimmy the Greek and Keith Olbermann, the kings of "Open Mouth/Insert Foot."


You just got your seat at their table, the place of lost careers in a nanosecond for the sake of one stupid utterance." OK, it took Olbermann three tries.


The only question about Ozzie's comment is, who's next?

***

I love the fact that former Illinois basketball coaches Bill Self (Kansas) and now Bruce Weber (Kansas State) are now coaching in the same conference. Self got there by winning. Weber got there by losing.

Weber's only wins came with Self's players. They're not available to him anymore. Let's see how this ... ahem ... plays out.

In addition, I want to congratulate the University of Illinois on its recent athletic coaching hires and its subsequent pending application for admission to the MAC.

***

Read a local column here in Chicago calling the Old Town School of Folk Music, a wonderful institution, "...an engine that keeps [a] neighborhood humming."

No doubt.

Except that no credit was given to the original Old Town School of Folk Music location that is the engine that keeps the engine humming "...that keeps [a] neighborhood humming."

Just saying.

***

Read a great column calling for the simplification of remotes. Couldn't agree more.

Except that people who design remotes - just like people who design computers, smart phones, tablets, radio engineers' boards, automobile dashboards and anything hailed as the next great app - design to impress other designers. They don't design for the end-user.

God forbid.

***

Phil Hersh of the Chicago Tribune did a great profile of local kid Toni Kokenis (Stanford) as part of their women's Final Four coverage. Nice job.

But he forgot to mention that Notre Dame's football team has a shot at a BCS berth. Shocking, Phil, from you, shocking.

***

Reading somewhere that team executives in pro sports are concentrating on "the fan experience."

Couldn't agree more on the need for this - there's nothing like spending $600 on a family outing at a pro football game to sit next to a foul-mouthed drunk while grossly overpaying for parking and concessions on top of the tickets. Plus, you get to watch gladiators try to kill each other (unfortunately, that's literal these days).

Much better seat in my living room where I can multi-task and get food, drink and lavatory usage without waiting in line.

***

Now that the Chicago Bears have acquired a new back-up quarterback, a new running back, two new receivers and even two new cornerbacks, before the draft, how about moving "No. 1" wide receiver Devin Hester back to defense? And how come no one in the media has suggested this yet?

***

Chicago Magazine is saying that coach Tom Thibodeau is the man who will take the Bulls to an NBA championship, not superstar MVP Derrick Rose.

Which gets me to thinking, how many titles did Phil Jackson win coaching the Bulls without Michael Jordan?

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424  

North By Nordwestern

People need to learn how to use language.

For instance, Nordstrom told me I'd have a jacket coming from another store in 5 days. I didn't. Then they said it actually takes 3-8 days.

There was a time Nordstrom was known for its unparalleled service, not for making excuses. Once I get that jacket delivered, they're going to lose a good customer.

Me.

***

So I'm reading Chicago Magazine and in a response to a criticism of their "Power 100" edition, they mention that "...Chicago [Magazine] does not accept free meals at Next or any restaurant it reviews."

Fair enough, and I certainly hope so. But does that mean they do accept free meals at restaurants they don't review? Or that they accept free meals at restaurants and then just don't review them? C'mon guys, get the lingo down right.

BTW, Grant Achatz way ahead of Dick Durbin in the city's "Power 100?" Really? Durbin could probably find a way to shut Achatz down if he really wanted to, but I doubt Achatz could knock Durbin out of the U.S. Senate. Time to change the name to "Influential 100."  Maybe "Popular 100," ya' think?

***

Is it true, the Dolphins were considering cutting Brandon Marshall just before the Bears swooped in and served up a couple of draft choices for him?

So, the Bears fired a GM (Jerry "Whistle Dixie" Angelo) who screwed up and signed an alleged drug dealer (Sam Hurd) so they could hire a new GM (Phil Emery) who could trade for a wide receiver (Marshall) with a documented police record of domestic battery and assault.

A Chicago Tribune reader, sizing up the team on offense, commented that Marshall's addition to the Bears means "...the possibilities are awesome."

Yeah, that's what Marshall's wife said.

***

Ace reporter Warren Sapp of the NFL Network says former Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey is the "rat" who spilled to the league on the New Orleans "bounty" program administered by now-suspended former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams.

Call it the "Invasion of the Bounty Snatchers" or the "Invasion of the Body Snappers," but whatever you call it, Warren Sapp is hardly the investigative reporter I trust to break the story on who the "rat" is.

At least, that's what Drew Brees told me.

***

In the great traditions of Brandon Roy, Sam Bowie and even Arvydis Sabonis, yet another star Portland Trailblazer has been released or retired prematurely due to injury in the person of Greg Oden.

How did Yao Ming not end up on this franchise?

***

The Arena Football League has opened its season amid player unrest on the labor front and organizational  finances in question, or so ace investigative reporter Warren Sapp is saying.

And I keep asking myself, "Yeah, so what?"

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424  

NBA, NCAA, NFL Nonsense Knows No Ends

My notebook's getting stuffed...


Recently read a column in Sports Business Journal declaring the moments that "...built the modern NBA." One of them was the original 1992 "Dream Team." Rocked the world. Creamed everyone at the Olympics.


Three Olympics later, Argentina won it all, we finished third. Didn't take the rest of the world long to catch up, did it?


                                ***


Same column also claimed the creation of and absorption of several ABA teams into the NBA helped invent an atmosphere of "free-wheeling...style."


Only four teams were "absorbed" and as to that free-wheeling style? It's called, no one plays defense anymore.


                                ***


Recently read a headline declaring that the Chicago Bears should select a quality receiver quickly in the upcoming NFL draft and sign a talented, veteran wide receiver ASAP in free agency.


Let's see, the Bears' divisional rivals, the Detroit Lions, drafted wide receivers in the first round in three of the four drafts between 2004-2007. Five years later, with only two of those three receivers still on their roster, they finally appeared in a playoff game.


Without needing tickets.


                                ***


The University of Illinois has fired (bought out) its football coach and its men's and women's basketball coaches this academic year. It required a total buyout of $7.12 million. Million. To require them not to work.


So far, while Ohio State was bringing in Urban Meyer to become its head football coach, Illinois has brought in some guy from Toledo. Speaks for itself...


                                ***


AARP The Magazine recently did a wonderful, in-depth profile on Sharon Stone, walking us through the adversities she has faced and either overcome or is in the process of overcoming. A terrific piece. Inspirational. I admire her. Respect her.


BTW, AARP The Magazine, you forgot to ask if she's bisexual. Just saying...


                                ***


The Ricketts family, which owns the Cubs, wants money from Illinois to fix up Wrigley Field and money from Arizona to fix up HoHoKam. This after two years of ownership and two fifth-place finishes in its division.


The more I read stuff like this the more I am convinced that pro franchises are nothing more than toys for rich people to manage with other people's money.


And welcome to Chicago, Theo. Good luck. Even if the Ricketts don't get all the money they want from respective government bodies, don't worry, I'll buy ya' a beer. No, really. OK, a Starbucks.


                               ***


The more I see of the Super Bowl aftermath, the more I'm convinced the only ones there were sponsors, their clients, celebrities, retired players who can almost still walk and a bunch of NFL security personnel. The latter spent all their time seizing everything from unlicensed merchandise before someone showed up wearing it on TV to all the illicit drugs they could find in the pockets of NFL players, in the game or not.


Should have confiscated Jim Irsay's cell phone or shut down his Twitter account. Or both.


Can't wait for SB 47. Uh, XLVII.


                              ***


Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424