Why I want to cover Madonna. No, J-Lo. No, Gwen Stefani. No, ...

I WANT TO COVER THE SUPER BOWL ... MEDIA DAY, THAT IS

The best part of the Super Bowl is ... Media Day.

All the weirdos come out. Would-be brides. Scantily dressed (would-be) female reporters (with all genuine respect to Christine Brennan, the first, and last, of her breed).

All the weird questions come out. Marry me! Who's gonna' win? (D'oh.) How many points will your team score ("Uh, more than the other team"). Can you pull off a Joe Namath (response: "Who's he?").

The best part of Media Day is ... the media. We get to show how poor we are (we don't prepare and why should we when you can cover the whole game from the headquarters' hotel lobby on your laptop or iPad based on info from press releases).

The reality is that everyday is Media Day. Reporters from all outlets have to file stories everyday. Someone has to ask dumb questions, and we have dumb questions: how will you stop Tom Brady [with a Lugar]; How will you solve the 49ers defense [by hijacking their bus]; Who's gonna' guard Hakeem Nix (no one; we're counting on Eli to screw up].

And the big one: can you beat God - uh, Tebow?

Media Day is full of an international gathering of reporters who can't speak English writing about players they can't understand playing a game they've never seen in a stadium full of drunks.

My question: what's Madonna wearing? And is there a party where I can hit on her?

***

Great quote in the local papers from Cubs new GM Jed Hoyer: "Anytime you go with young players, it's the right thing to do." Welcome to year 105, Cubs fans.

***

If you watch ESPN, you've seen the promos for, "It's not crazy, it's sports." This current theme is what people have risked on bets: being dropped off in the middle of nowhere in a baby outfit; spilling water all over the crotch of your pants so it looks like you peed all over yourself; oddly shaved hair and beard. I want to meet the people who make bets like that and the people who thought to display that in network promos.

ESPN has finally gone over the top. Its promos are too ridiculous. ESPN was once fun to watch because it didn't take itself too seriously. Oh, for the good old days...

***

The Bears are edging closer to naming a GM. Except who wants to be GM of a team where all the GM's decisions have already been made (coach and staff; front-office personnel; roster core)? OK, I'll do it, but only if they call within the next 10 minutes.

***

Some Cubbies are saying the NL Central is up for grabs, what with Prince Fielder gone and Ryan Braun missing in action for 50 games in Milwaukee, plus Albert Pujols outta' here. Hey Cubbies, look around: Brewers have a real pitching staff, Cardinals have a championship staff.

***

Hall-of-Famer Warren Moon calls Oklahoma State's Justin Blackmon a "...beast...like Dez Bryant with all of his brain cells." Uh, Warren, don't get presumptive...

***

The Indianapolis colts reportedly will take Andrew Luck with the first pick in the NFL draft. The NY Jets media will reportedly take Peyton Manning with the first paragraph in their NFL draft coverage.

***

OK, Madonna, prove our generation is better than theirs and outshine the Peas and Q's who performed last year at halftime. Wait a minute, did I say performed?

Enjoy the game. The football too...

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424

Careful what you ask for...

The media asks for so much.


Accountability and transparency from coaches, GMs and managers. So how much do you want to bet that when the Colts draft Andrew Luck with the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft and let Peyton Manning go, the NY media will be screaming in blood for the Jets to go get him, at any cost (imagine the Manning brothers both in NY - oy!).


The New York media just did that to the Knicks to go get Carmelo Anthony last year. So the Knicks did. And gave up four-fifths of a starting lineup to get him. And finished no better than they would've without him, subsequently whisked out of the playoffs.


Anthony would've been a free agent and the Knicks could've finished how and where they did anyway and then just signed him and given up far, far less. The spirit of Isiah Thomas just lives on and on in the organization.


And the NY media loves to encourage it...

***

Would somebody please tell ESPN's "Mike and Mike In The Morning" to only ask regular guest Dick Vitale about basketball, particularly college basketball. I could not care less what he thinks about the NFL playoffs, which they asked him about this morning. Then again, I'm beginning to care less and less of what he thinks about college basketball, for that matter, baybeeeee...

***

This just in: Bulls crowned NBA champs. By Chicago media...

***

Here's a tip for the media that covers the Bears: after spending the last two years complaining that the Bears don't have a true No. 1 receiver (whatever that really is in NFL parlance), then please get all over the Bears from now till draft day to trade up and get Justin Blackmon from Oklahoma State. The kid appears to be the next Calvin Johnson or Steve Smith. Right now, the Bears don't even have Joe the Plumber. Or a GM with whom to get him, having fired Jerry Angelo (and retained head coach Lovie Smith, hmmm...).

Get all over the Bears now to do this and stay all over them or don't complain when they don't do it and instead use that No. 19 pick to take a large person from Samoa who projects to be a great defensive lineman but has never played football before.

***

Did I mention that the Bulls have already won the NBA championship? Read it somewhere in a local paper here in Chicagoland.

Did I mention that we've only had a trace of snow so far this winter in Chicago? No, wait, really, that's all we've had.

***

Michael Jordan's to-do list: Make reservations in Vegas; book tee times in Vegas; reserve private jet while in Vegas to make 45-minute flight to go see NBA game in Phoenix (maybe the Bobcats will be in town); book Vegas hotel chapel for 10 minutes, get married; call Charles Barkley, see if he's kept off weight he's lost and would consider a comeback together; book a suite at Vegas hotel for a couple of hours for a wedding reception; scout that good 3-point shooter at UNLV as long as I'm in town.

***

Caleb Hanie was a hero in Chicago when he rallied the Bears in the Jan. 2011 NFC title game against the Packers, a performance which made him a lock to be the Bears' No. 2 QB this season. After a gazillion interceptions in four games in relief of injured Jay Cutler this year, Hanie has returned to being just another No. 2 QB (hello, Tim Tebow) who will likely be shopping for an apartment in San Diego, Dallas, Atlanta, Tampa or who-knows-where next year. Maybe Calgary.


It snows there. 


Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424

2012 sports media award nominees

Hi:


I'm back for 2012. Two of my Sports classes have to blog, and to bond with them, I blog with them. So I'll be here a few times a week through May, at least.


Now then, the tops in sports media for 2012:

• Please, Chicago media, don't put the Cubs in the World Series yet just because Theo Epstein is in town. He got a little lucky in Boston. The '04 Yankees collapsed. And the NHL folded for the season. Prior to that, the last time there was no Stanley Cup finals was 86 years earlier, which was also the last time the Red Sox had won a World Series. Coincidence? Hmmm...      

• Please, national baseball media, don't tell me the Kansas City Royals are AL Central contenders this year. You tried that last year and it didn't work. They're small market, they lose their best players to the big markets and they suck. Period.

• If sports reporters knew the games better than the coaches, managers and general managers they cover and write about, they'd be the coaches, managers and general managers instead of writing about them. Cover the game, don't second-guess the guys in charge (let them do it themselves, they will), and make sure the A-Rods of the world are exposed as the A-Holes that they are.

• I will miss Vin Scully after this year. Simply the best. Ever. Anywhere. A statue in his honor outside Dodger Stadium would never be an appropriate way to honor him. In fact, there isn't one. He had a vocabulary unparalleled and a voice that was the Sinatra of sportscasters.

• Please, Lord, let T.O. get injured just badly enough when he returns to play arena football that we don't have to hear about him the rest of the season or this year, for that matter.

• Instead of Te-bows, how about covering the Bronc-ohs.

• ESPN, I love those Make-A-Wish tandem stories you do about people overcoming adversity to be able to enjoy a moment in the sun with a favorite team or player. Very heartwarming, enjoyable and caring. Still doesn't cover up all the sores exposed in "ESPN: Those Guys Have All The Fun." You have a lot of work to do.

• Someone, anyone, tell me how Michigan got into a BCS game and Michigan State (conference runnerup who beat them) and Boise State (ranked twice as high in the BCS) did not. Must have been a gift for firing Rich Rodriguez.

• I'm boycotting the BCS title game. I thought they had a safeguard in place to prevent teams that didn't win their conferences, let alone their divisions in their conferences, from playing in the BCS title game after Nebraska did just that some years ago. BCS = Big Championship Scam

• Oh yeah, the Penn State thing, it's over. Let 'em play, let's see who they hire and cover the trial, that's a mandate. But don't forget to cover the healing and the rebuilding.

• I would be remiss in closing without a heartfelt farewell to those I lost in 2011: Clio, Carol Ruden, Gary Kruh, Ed Planer, Rose Economou and Pete Gent. A cuddler, a cousin, a closest-friend-ever, a chairperson, a colleague and a curmudgeon if there ever was one, respectively.

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out this year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs. http://journalsportsmedia.blogspot.com; www.colum.edu; http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCC-Journalism-Columbia-College-Chicago/115604591875424

Open Letter to Washington, D.C.

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE POWERS-THAT-BE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.:

Hi Senators and Congressmen:

You suck. No, really, you suck. All of you. You truly suck the big one.

The rest of the media, and perhaps the blogosphere as well, has taken it easy on you, either praising your compromise on the debt or spinning it for what it is: a simple slowing down of the debt accumulation. Has anyone really taken you to task though, held you accountable, except for a select few?

You play fast and loose with other people's money. You give no thought to repaying it. You've already insured the growth of the debt. Eventually it will eat into the things we need the most, healthcare and retirement income. But you don't care.

Your retirements are already funded by our tax dollars, which you spent in part bailing out Chrysler, GM, God knows how many banks and investment houses and a major insurer you deemed too big to fail.

I guess that makes the rest of us too small to succeed. Are you going to bail out small businesses? Individual homeowners? The homeless? The uninsured?

If my neighbor fails on his mortgage, loses his job, loses his income, loses everything, are you going to bail him out? No, wait...

Have any of you gotten out of your limos and walked the streets with the rest of us, observed how we work so hard for so little? We do. You don't know what it feels like to schlep back and forth to work, pay the bills, make ends meet, save up for our kids' college funds and have something left over to go to the movies, maybe a ballgame, maybe rent a video and order in a pizza.

We don't have the discretionary income for it, for the most part. Most households have $120 of discretionary income a month. Meanwhile, it would take more than $120,000 per American to erase the national debt. That's about how much you guys have to raise in campaign funds every few months by kissing corporate and special-interest asses.

You'd be fired in American business. You should be fired now. As in firing squad. You wouldn't manage your own businesses or households like you manage the national budget. Your bosses would can you, your spouses would disown you.

Get the debt eliminated, not slowed. Call a debt-consolidation service. Call Peter Francis Geraci, the bankruptcy attorney, or listen to him at infotapes.com. It would be more than what you guys have done now.

Clinton erased the Bush/Reagan deficits. You can do it now too, if you ever stop holding the national debt and the economy hostage, which you do to have each other to blame for it come election time.

Assholes. You really suck. No, really. All of you.

Love,

Me.

Time to get caught up

It's time to get caught up. I've been away from the blog for too long. And a lot's wrong here in Chicago.

For one, hey, Cubs, remind us why you hired Mike Quade as manager. Because he finished up a bunch of meaningless ballgames last year going 24-13 as interim skipper (which he did). Because he seemed caring and easy to approach for the players (which he is). Because he's a nice guy (which he is). Because he's a career baseball guy who deserved his shot (which he did; We think).

Once again another Chicago sports franchise hired someone who did great as an interim and can't tie his shoelaces as a permanent. The last two real managers came within a whisper and a yell of the World Series, respectively, in the playoffs (without tickets) three times in eight years, and shoulda' been a fourth if the Cubs hadn't spent the '04 season blaming everyone for their mishaps except themselves.

You get what you pay for. The Cubs have a nice guy and dedicated players. And, once again, can't win for losing. Or sell out consistently anymore either.

Give me Ozzie Guillen and his fiery passion anyday. I'll put up with the f-bombs.

Which is what Scottie Pippen is getting these days. Not-so-smart comments about LeBron James being the best ever, better than MJ. Better than MJ! Isn't that a rock band? Whatever, Scottie should just be stoned for that comment.

Or should he? Did he say what he meant to say or did he speak in a context so contorted no one understood him? Did he mean to say LeBron will be the best ever if he keeps involving others the way he does, especially on a team so front-loaded with talent? Scottie was always Robin to Jordan's Batman. But LeBron, he's Superman (no, that's Dwight Howard). LeBron, OK, he's Spiderman to D-Wade's Green Lantern. Pretty equal. Chris Bosh? He's gotta' be the Green Hornet in this scenario.

Jordan never had a legion of superheroes to help him out. Just Pippen. He and Pip were the only ones on all six Bulls' title teams. And Pippen was always second fiddle. So no wonder he sounded off the way he did. Maybe he wasn't dissing Jordan. Maybe he was just complimenting James. LeBron isn't the best ever.

Yet. But with some luck, and the next Phil Jackson coaching him, he just might be.

Next week, we'll tackle the problems with NY sports.

Uh, no we won't.

***

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out next year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs.

Pay it Forward

Today's blog is dedicated to my Advanced Sports Reporting students. Well, most of 'em...

I need to thank a lot of people as the school year winds down and dis a lot of people as the school year winds down.

Let's get the unpleasant stuff out of the way first: praising people.

Thank you, Brad, for making the transition for me into JSM editor as smooth as you could possibly make it. Someone likes you. I received seven submissions before I even put the word out I was taking over. Now, if I could just find a book reviewer...

Thank you, Louise. I owe you one. You did what you were supposed to do, nothing more or less. No hard feelings.

Thank you, Doreen. You kept things flowing and who woulda' "thunk" you'd be the reigning dean in longevity when you stepped down. Your tenure was as fluid as it was long. Congrats.

Thank you, Steve. You have a future in higher education. Stay with it.

Thank you, Mary, for hours and hours and hours of tireless copy editing. Not just editing, but the kind that makes other people's work better. Your classmates appreciate your class. As do I.

Thank you, Sarah. Somehow, some way, I laugh when I read your blog. Southern Belles ain't the ladies they be cranked up to be now, are they? Well, not always.

Thank you, resident grad student. I threw you a bone. You turned it into a three-course meal and more and helped out fellow students trying to do the same. Very selfless.

Thank you Cy Cy. You rescued others and put their interests ahead of your own. That is the kind of thing future great journalists are made of.

Thank you, Carolyn. Your next Wine Basket gift is en route (jk). It will be coming for Christmas. I'm not here doing what I'm doing and loving every gratifying minute of it if not for you.

Thank you, Mike. With your help, B-T-G got off on the right foot.

Thank you, Deborah Harry. You remain my blond ambition. And inspiration. Thank you, Vicki, my muse, even though you remain at "the heart of it all," as it says on the license plates, in Ohio. May your three girls continue to thrive.

Thank you, Clio. Could there ever be another as sweet as you? Loving, caring, attentive, asking only for the same in return. And cuter than any who came before you. You may have never been in the show, but you'll always be my "Best of Show." When you get to the final destination, your bark will come back, louder, bolder and better than ever. Although it could never top your heart.

Thanks, Jess. Great to see you the other day. You're OK. For a lawyer.

Thanks, Joss. You remain selfless, no matter how much your demons sneak attack.

OK, enough praise. Time for the crabby award handouts.

For those here who rode the "el" way past its final stop, dynamite in hand trying to pave a path well after it had already been marked and dug, may you sit on the dynamite. Lit dynamite. You know who you are.

For those still in silos, look up, dig out and be aware of what's around you. The rest of the world is coming. Are you ready? You know who you are.

For those who think 3 equals 6 and a 7 & 7 needs three fruit garnishes on the side, time to go back to the drawing board. No, wait, unfortunately, you're already there...

For those training the future journalistic minds of tomorrow, tell 'em the truth - it's tough out there, and it's not going to feel fair sometimes as you job hunt. Remember, instead, to tell 'em what Jim Valvano said, something about never giving up, never, ever giving up.

For those out there taking a smoke break - stop. You're fouling the air I'm breathing too.

I could go on thanking many more and dissing many more, but I'm not even sure who all these quips refer to anymore. Which is probably a good thing, in case anybody asks. Like someone's lawyer...

In closing, to borrow from Phil Ochs, "The three men I admire most, the father, son and the holy ghost, they caught the last train for the coast, the day, the music, died..."

It didn't die. They just turned down the volume. Crank it up. Oh baby, crank it up. And thank you ASR for B-T-G 2011. Nice job. Love you all.

But don't let that influence your reviews. Good night, Gracie...

***

Howard Schlossberg is editor of the Journal of Sports Media, with his first edition due out next year. He's an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where creativity and learning are embraced hand-in-hand. And he still writes sports for the Daily Herald in Chicago's northwest suburbs.

Top 10 (12, 14, 16...whatever...) Reasons I'm A Lazy Blogger

I have a little problem.

I like to put things off. No, I mean really put things off. Like this blog: it's three weeks late and I'm always all over my students about making deadline. So, to make up for that, this is going to count for three blogs. And not just because I said so.

It's not going to be three times as long as usual to make up for being three weeks late. It's just going to count for three because it's going to be three times as good.

By the way, this blog is dedicated to Vicki in Ohio.

So, anyway, instead of writing my blog the last three weeks, I was attending to other things. I graded papers (and blogs). Hey, I'm a college professor.

I recruited others to play in my longstanding rotisserie (i.e., fantasy) baseball league. We're down to the bare-bottom required number of participants. Yikes, I'll have to play on ESPN with all the supposed know-it-alls.

Hey, I'm a sportswriter (Frank Deford says it's one word and that's good enough for me).

I've been reading and distributing submissions to "Journal of Sports Media," outstanding research papers regarding the very topic the title infers. I'm the new editor. There's a lot more to editing an academic research journal than I thought.

But hey, I'm a sportswriter (one word)-turned-college professor of sports reporting, as you might suppose.

And I want to thank Vicki in Ohio for inspiring this column. Uh, blog...

I've also been vacationing, sort of. Hiking hills outside Phoenix, and mountains, getting a workout and finding some activity to replace my usual morning workouts back home. Following teams in spring training too. Most of the players can be found in the bars and clubs of Scottsdale at night, tracking down the college girls out there on spring break and the local 20-somethings looking for high-salaried ballplayers to finance their way of life. For life.

Married ballplayers are not a problem for them. As long as they have money. And they do.

So I've been discovering the best that greater Phoenix has to offer in dining, entertainment and recreation. Even ran into some old friends and the parents of old friends and made some new friends (Vicki in Ohio, my new muse). Found out an old friend watches FOX News Channel. FOX News! Egads! What ya' don't know about some people. I'm getting her a CNN T-shirt for Christmas. She deserves it.

I also trained myself this past week in accessing TV through the Internet. Which totally sucks. Twenty-seven moves later and I was watching the NCAA Regional semifinals Thursday night. I think. Logitech, huh? Logi-test, more like it. I also got to access years-old episodes of "The Closer," "Monk," Fairly Legal" and "Royal Pains." No, wait, "Fairly Legal" is brand new, not years old and "Royal Pains" was not available for access. Interesting, but not fun after 57 moves on the Logitech keyboard.

I did badly hook my first golf swing since my shoulder surgery last May. Gonna' be an interesting summer on the links. Especially since I don't like to practice at the range. Maybe I can do something Tiger Woods can't - get Butch Harmon to coach me.

By the way, the Top 10 (12, 14. 16...) reasons you're an ineffective blogger include:

• You procrastinate
• You put things off
• You can say all this in 140 characters on Twitter
• You're not as motivated as Vicki in Ohio
• You actually bothered to follow your now worthless NCAA bracket
• You spent a whole night unsuccessfully trying to access the Northwestern-Washington State NIT quarterfinal game on Google TV via Logitech
• You have a crush on Garcia on "Criminal Minds" and continually scan for reruns
  
• You have a crush on Robin Meade (who doesn't?)
• You procrastinate
• You put things off so you can procrastinate on other things

I love blogging. Thanks for the assist, Vicki in Ohio.

I'd say so long, everybody, but I'm putting that off. Sort of like the Cubs winning a World Series.

###

Howard Schlossberg is editor of "Journal of Sports Media," a twice-annual compilation of the best of academia on the title topic. Send your submissions to him at hbssports@gmail.com. He's also an associate professor of journalism at Columbia College Chicago, where he teaches Sports Reporting, among other classes and his students produce an award-winning magazine (www.beyond-the-game.com). He likes to complain about other people breaking the rules and getting away with it. He loves his dog, Clio. And has a new muse in Ohio. He also writes sports for the Daily Herald (Paddock Publications), the largest suburban newspaper chain in Illinois and third-largest in the state.